Me: I don't really like animals.
Life: Really? You really don't like animals?
Me: Meh. Not really.
Life: *laughing evilly* So you don't like this? *sticks a wombat in my face*
Me: AWWWW. It's so cute! I want one!
Life: *bunts the wombat back to Australia* No! Wombats are not domesticated. Wombats can dig through concrete. Wombats could eat your face off and tear you limb from limb. You cannot have a wombat.
Me: Fine. I still don't like animalS. I just like A animal.
Life: *laughs evilly* *pulls a quokka from behind its back* What about this?
Me: AWWWW. It's so cute I want one!
Life: *laughs manically and bunts quokka back to Australia* No! You can't have one! They're not domesticated. They are dying off and being eaten by cats and dogs and those other animals you disregard. You cannot have a quokka!
Me: *sobbing* Why Australia? Why? Why do you have such cute animals? I hate you forever!
Life: *runs off laughing in nefarious glee*
Me: *shakes fist* Oh, life, how I hate thee sometimes.