Fairytales and Contests

So I am doing this blogfest/contest that Miss Emily is doing over here and it is Fantasticlly so much fun. There's not much time left since it is due today, but if you have time run around and write something.

You had to take a fairytale story (one that people could recognize) and twist it and put it into a different genre. This is mine:

RoseAutumn and the Hundred Years Sleep

This pic found here

The ship shrieked silently across the void of space. Within this heap of steel and plastic a girl named RoseAutumn stumbled over to the plexi-glass stasis pod. She fumbled with the controls to close herself in, watching as the metal around her blazed into roaring flame. The gas erupted, pushing the girl’s mind to sleep so that she never felt the impact, never felt the crash or heard the grinding, shredding metal.

Meanwhile, on the planet below, a Queen watched the burning flesh of metal scream from the sky and tumble among her trees and bushes. Without hesitation she slithered a feline body through the smoldering wreck and set a taloned hand on the plexi-glass that had managed to stay intact and keep RoseAutumn safe. “You are mine,” the Queen said.

For one hundred years the Queen let her forest writhe and twine itself around the foreign ship. The Queen gave of her very own life and breath to feed the girl, though how this was accomplished none have dared to ask or seek out answer. For many more years this may have continued on to eternity had it not been for one fate-filled day.

A Prince from a neighboring region ventured near the place and heard tell of the Sleeping Girl from the birds and creatures that dwelt there. And lo, the Prince forged into the forest and made war against the Queen, hacking through vine and living bramble. The Queen stayed hidden, using her powers to move rock and tree, doing all she could to kill the Prince.

After many days and night of such fighting the Prince made his way and stood before the Queen and gazed upon her. Her lower portions resembled that of a snake; her torso was feline in nature. Her upper limbs were like that of some evil beast. The Queen’s face was as Human, though her eyes were distinct, resembling nothing. The Prince averted his own eyes and in doing so looked upon the slumbering girl. Immediately, irrevocably, he fell in love with her.

“My claim is upon her,” he spoke unto the Queen and, behold, he smote her and the stench of her death spread wide through the forest. The Prince then opened up the stasis pod and, as was the custom of his people, kissed RoseAutumn upon her ruby-red lips.

“What are you doing?” She screamed upon awakening. Immediately, irrevocably, she blasted the Prince with her ray gun.

---

Hope you enjoyed :) It was super fun to write.

Spakes and Cpntests and Other Nonsense

*And apparently the inability to spell, come on Jacqueline, you should know better.

This is just a quick post: (it's a good thing too, Miss Grammar-Mistakes)

1) I believe the Super Sister Contest deadline got extended for a short while, so you still have time to enter. Yay! :D (sheesh... no link or anything? Go here for more info)

2) As some of you know my friend and I are obsessed with Spakes, so I created a Spakes page on Facebook, and if you are attached to Facebook you can feel free to become a fan, or like it, or whatever. I'm trying to spread the word about these loverly creatures, so that when the book gets published y'all will be prepared, or some such nonsense. Basically I did it just because it was late at night and I was on the computer, and one never knows what I'll do under such circumstances.

3) Have a good day!! I demand it. (*shakes head* What are you? Queen? Stop demanding people about, it's ridiculous monkeys.)

-Jacqueline Edenbry

(one of Naomi's characters)

*With notes from Amarilla, who can spell properly, you baby

Blogger Invasion Blogfest: Late, but Here

So I totally forgot I signed up for my sis' blogfest so here it is, late, but here.

---

Zombies. I knew it not just by the smell, but because they were lurching, and decomposing and well… It’s just pretty obvious. I hunkered down behind the over-turned couch and looked over at the two people on my left.

“Ready?”

The first one, Palindrome, cocked her gun and nodded. “Ready.” An evil grin spread over her face and I was suddenly intensely glad I wasn’t a Zombie. “I’m just about… Shhh,” the other one, Falen, pulled at her aviator cap and shushed the little yipping dogs next to her. “Yvie!” Then she turned and pulled out a strange looking steam-powered device. “Ready.”

“Me too!” I turned to look on my other side, at Rose, a short girl with not-blond hair. She held up a Spake knife and grinned. “This should work on Zombies too.”

“And I’ll use my Karate-chop-action-skillz,” Sonshinemusic said, because despite being sunny and bubbly she also has mad skills.

“Okay, just be careful.” I held in a short breath. “Okay, on the count of three. One, two…”

“NO!” Mia shouted, rushing into the room, trailing a stream of sparkles in her wake. At first I didn't know where the sparkles were coming from, until I saw Tessa dancing behind Mia, a huge grin on her face, waving a bucket of glitter labeled 'Zombie Stuff.' The Zombies stopped, staring at the glitter like dolts. “#Zombiesaren’tevil #youshouldtotesnotkillthem.”

I stared at her, awed by the genius of hashtags. But then I shook my head. “These ones are evil! I know because they are ruled by the Zombie Queen Joan Crawford, and those zombie kittens belong to Evil Blam. They must be destroyed!”

"I think Thor agrees," Amalia said, nodding her head. "He doesn't like Zombies. They get glitter everywhere, and everyone knows glitter is my arch nemesis."

“Wait!” Laura Marcella came dancing in, holding a book above her head. “I know there’s a quote in here somewhere that will solve this problem.” Palindrome sighed noisily, probably distressed with the thought that she couldn’t shoot anything. One of Falen’s dogs went over to sniff one of the Zombie kittens, and Rose went over to poke one of the Zombies.

“Hehe… It feels funny,” Rose burbled.

“Here,” Laura Marcella pointed to something in her book, and I peered over her shoulder, curious. “In order to stop Zombies from being evil, one must give them Rubber Duckies to feed upon.”

“Weird,” said I.

“That #rockssocks!” said Sonshine.

“I have ducks!” said J.M. Neeb, appearing out of nowhere. He threw a couple of Rubber Duckies at the Zombies, who ingested them readily, and the Evilness drained straight out of them. “Hooray!” we all shouted happily, except Rose who didn’t think the story was violent enough.

“I think I’ve forgotten something,” I said, and suddenly the front door opened and all my bloggy friends came tumbling, prancing, and walking primly in. We started a whole sha-bang of a party, Zombies and all.

--

Yay! Hope y'all enjoyed. I'll try to get around to anyone else who did this blogfest. Oh! And if you want to write one, go ahead. It's okay if you're late or whatever. I was, so I don't think it's a huge deal. This is mostly about having fun and showing love for fellow bloggers (my lamnams!) Anywho...

Conflicted

Recently I received the ARC for The Replacement by Brenna Yovanoff.

Two Things:

a) I love, love, love it

2) It made me really, really upset

Why?

Love:

1) It is well written and intriguing and just gorgeously ugly sometimes. Didn't think that was possible? Well, it is.

b) It has a male protagonist. What? YA urban/paranormal fantasy with a male main character? Yes. It is SO refreshing. Plus, the love interest, Tate, is not your usual "Rescue me from the evil monster!" *cue fainting* but she's hardcore. I love it. Sure, maybe Mackie isn't the strongest character in and of himself, but he's real, he's not flat, and he has an actual personality. Isn't that fantastic?

c) Brenna adds a whole new spin on the whole Other Worldly things that made me all happy inside.

Dislike:

a) The language. Now, I know for some of you you're probably rolling your eyes around and getting ready to throw rocks at me for being a stingy, Christian, self-righteous bigot. Hold yourself together, and just listen a moment (which, as far as I know, all of you who read my blog are really good at listening and letting me explain my view on things, which I am super glad about. It's SO fantastic that we can have different views on things and none of us get all angry as beavers over it)

Anyhow...

I don't like language. Sometimes I can understand why it's used, and sometimes in the book I could give reason for it and could be okay with it, but sometimes it was unnecessary (in my mind). The problem with cursing is it's not creative, a huge part of the time. There's one thing to use it is as characterization, but another just to have it there. And my question is, when did it become okay in our society to use language like that? It used to be unprofessional, and not in younger aged books. But now teens curse, because that's what they learned from their parents, and what they expect from their bosses, and I never signed up for that kind of society.

So despite enjoying this book immensely there are some people I am not comfortable asking to read the book. And I will still tell them I loved it, but it will always be with a caveat, that there is some heavy language in it at parts.

So for those of you who are okay with language I would say go out and pre-order it because I think you'll love it.

So what about You? Does language bother you, do you only like it when it's used to make a point, or do you not even notice it? I'm curious to hear what y'all have to say.

The Super Sister Contest!!! :D

In honor of our birthdays the sis (Rebecca/SonshineMusic) and I are having a...

SUPER SISTER CELEBRATION CONTEST!

It will be Amazing. It will be a two-parter. The writerly Contest will be done over on her blog, and the normal ol' simple drawing one will be done over here. So here are the rules for the Contesty stuff for this part of the contest:

2 Winners!!!!!! YESH!!!!

To enter here are the easy-shmeasy rules:

1 - be a follower of both Rebecca's and my blogs. Please be our LamNams! :D

2 - You don't have to, but you can blog/tweet/facebook/whatever - - Rebecca said that SkyWriting will get you like, an armadillo or something. You can also do smoke signals,

in which case, I will die from excitement.

c - BE EXCITED!!!! This is, after all, a Contest, and who doesn't Love Contests?? Plus, it's so Super Easy even a Spake could do it! Okay, okay. I was going to try not to mention those things, but anyway...

d - Also, please let me know

a) What your favorite herb is

b) What your fav color/pattern is (like, if your fav pattern is pine trees or flying monkeys, I need to know that. Or if your fav color is plaid. Important stuff.)

5 - This will get you Absolutely Nothing, but if you would like, let me know which you would rather have as a pet, a Moose, a Duck, or an Avocado.

Now onto the PRIZES! *does a happy dance*

WAIT. I wasn't nearly Excited enough yet, because my Face is Asleep. Like This:

Don't I have Mad Drawing SKillz??

NOW I am awake. And Excited.

Okay. HERE are the PRIZES:

2 People will win:

Crazy for Chocolate - Who doesn't love chocolate? And if you're one of those weirdos who doesn't, it could make a Lovely Mother's Day/Birthday/Arbor Day present

Be Happy That... by Melissa Heckscher, Jordan Burchette, and Pat Mellon - This book is Hilarious, and is being used in the Other Contest Part, that Rebecca is in charge of. Trust me. It's pretty Amazing.

PLUS:

Your choice of a packet of herbs, like these:

Or Tarragon, or Oregano, or Others. There are so many possibilities!!

And I'll make you your very own Mini-Pillow.

But wait! There's more:

For whoever can find the most Unique way to let others know about this Contest there is a Special Prize:

An Owl Key Hanger - What could possibly be cooler?

Broken by Karin Slaughter - I met her at BEA and guess what?...

Yuppers. It's signed.

So go on. Enter the contest with a simple comment below, find an Ingenious way to promote to Super Sister Celebration Contest, and you just might WIN! :D

It runs from Now This Very Instant until August 27th. THEN, while we figure out the winners, we'll let ya'll know.

P.S. Psst... Her birthday is the 31st, so make sure you run over and embarrass her on her birthday. ;P

P.P.S Here are some bannerly things Rebecca made for You:

P.P.P.S That's All. No. Really.

P.P.P.P.S Okay. I'm a liar. Don't forget to enter the other Half of the Contest over HERE.

Well, So Much for Keeping it a Secret

Yup. It's my birthday. I was going to be all *hush hush* about it but Someoe decided to post it on her blog *shakes head at Rebecca/Sonshine* and then another someoe posted it up on Facebook *shakes head at Claire/Co-Worker* so the Cat's out of the bag as they say.

Huh. People say weird things.

Oh! Today I am writing with a sparkly purple pen! It's amazing.

Oh, and the aforementioned Claire bought me caffeinated sugar coffee. I haven't had caffeine in I don't know how long, so... I'm on the verge of running around the parking lot squeeling.

BUT that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is... Um... Write about things that I get to do now that I'm 21.

1. Find a good excuse not to drink liquer/alcohol. I'm trying to decide if I should lie and say I'm allergic (but lying's bad) or if I should laugh at the absurdity at the thought. I already can't walk in a straight line, I often slur my words, and speaking coherantly can cause me issues. So... Alcohol? Not a good idea. I also am thinking about staring at people and explaining to them that my grandma was an alcoholic, and I'm Terrified of that happening to me too. If I could cry on demand, this would be perfect. Any other ideas?

2. I can drive with my soon to be sixteen-years-old brother. This is very important to my brother. Because he'll be able to drive with just me in the car, and no parents. In fact, I believe he's more excited than I am. About turning 21, not the driving part. I trust him. Plus, he knows if he breaks anything he's totally paying for it from his pocket. Or from his bank. I doubt he has money in his pockets, though he probably has other, scarier, things in there. Like... dirt, fuzz, and day old french fries. ;P

3. I get to be kicked off of my parents insurance. Aw, what a thoughtful birthday present. *grins* Now I have to find a way to Never get sick Ever. I'm scared of Hospitals already anyway, so this shouldn't be hard to do.

4. I get to pay off my school debt (okay, this isn't directly correlated to turning 21, but I'm running out of things to say.)

5. I got to pay the government 80 bucks and 50 cents to get a new license. Again, awww... Just the birthday present I was lookig for. I Lurve giving the government my money.

5. Erm... I get to... be... Human? Um... Okay. I get to run out of ideas.

So that's pretty much all, my LamNams.

A Big Giant Hug and Thank You for everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday. I love you guys! I talk about you as if you're "real people" and people look at me strange. But seriously, for reals, you guys are Amazing and Encouraging and all that *hugs* Thank You for being Awesome!!