I May Fall Asleep Half-Way Through This...

So. Yes. The liquidation process has begun at Borders and now we get to come in at 6 o'clock in the morning! Yay! Not. Really. You see, I do not normally function until 9 in the morning. That means my poor co-workers have to be around me for three hours while I stare blankly and refuse to speak with them. And then I work for 8-9 hours. By then I am sleep deprived and loopy. Yesterday I started throwing gift cards at one of my co-workers but instead of being mad he just asked if I could kill him so he didn't have to be on register anymore. Yeah. It's been a bit hard.

He should get this shirt. As long as he is merely

being metaphorical. I don't want him to really

die because he is tall and cool.

BUT. I get along with everyone I work with so we manage to keep each other afloat which is dreadfully needed. And so, I'll take advantage of these end times and post about my highlights.

1) After I'm done with every customer I shout out "I can help the next customer." but the one time I shouted "Have a Good Day!" instead. E, who was standing next to me, bent over in half she was laughing so hard.

Only she has red hair. And is a girl.

2) It is 3pm. I am supposed to be leaving. I wait for back up and am helping this lady. Her total is $15.57. She hands me a twenty and says, "I have the change so you can ring it up."

Uh. Yeah. No. I've had customers try this before. After I open the drawer they suddenly don't have the change and I have to try to figure out their change. I don't have math skills of any kind. So I say, "That's okay. I'll just wait."

She: "But why not? I have the change. It will save time." (she continues to dig in her purse for change and I try not to point out that she is actually wasting time by talking to me instead of just finding her change and moving on.)

Me: "It won't make a big difference so I'll just wait."

She: (pausing) "Why not?"

Me: (not really caring anymore) "Because I'm weird."

She: (stares) "Excuse me?"

Me: "I'm weird."

She: "Why are you weird?"

Me: "I have to do things in a specific way. Just let me do it."

Finally she hands me the change and I give her a five and she walks away clearly very confused.

this was her brain

OH. MY. GOODPOTATOES. People. Just let me be a cashier. You can be a customer. Don't tell me how to do my job. I've been a cashier for a few years now. I know what I'm doing. Just move on.

3) After the crazy change lady leaves I deal with an uber slow person who is so slow it makes my skin feel like it is burning (or maybe I feel that way since there is no air conditioning and it is close to 90 degrees up by the registers. So much fun!) but once the uber slow lady is gone I run away and grab my bag from the back. I also grab a marshmallow rice thing because it is filled with sugar.

love it!

Then I have to get a bag check so that the managers know we aren't stealing things. As my manager, JP, checks my bag a group of teens come in.

1st Teen: "I wonder if the chairs are for sale?"

Me: (in a singsong voice) "Yes, but not for you."

2nd Teen: "Uh. Okay then."

Me: (extremely embarrassed and calling after them) "I'm sorry! I've been awake since five! I'm really tired and I'm leaving."

I run out of the store as fast as I can while JP turns around and covers her face with her hands as she tries to muffle her laughter.

Yeah. This whole liquidation thing is going to be so much fun on my brain.

Have fun my peeps! I'm going to go spend the entire day doing absolutely nothing. it is going to be EPICally fun.

And Sometimes Life Isn't As Cool

As most of you probably know, Borders is dying. They call it - in official terms - liquidating. It is sadness.

Awwww... :(

It's not as bad for me because I'm leaving for school in the fall (more on that later) but I know in December I'm going to come back and it's going to hit me like a brick falling out of a speeding dumpster.

I'll probably cry. Just a little bit.

I'm kinda' hoping Barnes & Nobles will put in a bookstore after we leave. There are not many bookstores in our area. The closest one is close to forty-five minutes away from me. Not cool.

Annnnnnnd... You learn that there are two kinds of people in the world.

1) The kind that are sad for you, and wish you luck. They thank you for always helping you and make you love life. They share with you the books they love and encourage you to expand your interests and learn more, even if you end up losing your job. And it is amazing. And you love people. And you want to give customers hugs, except for the scary men that stare at you through windows...

And you know that it's going to be okay. Until...

2) The people who call as soon as they find out your closing and want to know what's on sale. The people who ask if they can buy it now and return it later for the sale price. And you say no. And you wonder if they're on drugs. And there is the one customer that snickers at you because you are losing your job. Or they scream at you across the store to ask when you're closing. And you want to hit everyone and scream at them and you wonder what on earth people are thinking. Maybe they all starting sniffing glue and just aren't in their right minds.

CRAZIEST THING IN THE WORLD

(according to Google)

This is what my customers were like, apparently.

But life will go on and God will provide and we'll find our way from here. So we just have to remember to hold onto the number one customers and disregard the others. (And here I would normally say, Shas La Na, but as it is in a language that does not exist I will instead just run away and leave now.)

Polaris!!!

So Rebecca - my lovely sis - and I went to Polaris. If you do not know what this means shame on you. Polaris involves Canadians and is a Sci-Fi Convention of awesomeness. And what could be better than a Canadian-infested Sci-Fi Convention? Well, other than pot pies, I just don't know.

Mmmmmm... Deliciousness.

Also on a completely random note, for some reason my google searches are all coming up in Czech. I'm sure you wanted to know that.

SO... We left early Thursday and Rebecca's car decided, air conditioning? Who needs air conditioning? And so it was a bit more warm... meaning super hot... then we really wished for it to be. But ah well. Ces le vie, or whatever. (Canadians speak French, and I think that's a butchered French phrase. We're being multi-cultural today.) We made it to Canada and passed through Vineland and I got excited about the Icelanders and Rebecca rolled her eyes at me. Then we made it to Toronto! And it was so greeeeeeen! And I have no pictures because they are on Rebecca's camera. So imagine something that combines trees and cities. It looked a little bit futuristic I do say.

Then we walked around Toronto and went to amazing libraries and found out that I really am a fascinating idiot sometimes. I brought three pairs of shoes. They were all high-heels. One should not walk around cities in high heels. I blame it entirely on one of my characters who is obsessed with high heels. Anyway. My feet didn't hurt too badly, fortunately, but still. Next year I will bring appropriate footwear.

Then came three days of amazing conventionness and Hopefully if I am not being a lazy bum I will post more because it was pretty amazing. And I was in the same building as Ben Browder (I waved in his general direction in honor of a few of my friends who love Farscape) and I got to see Jewel Staite (she is Adorable) and so much more! I am totes going next year, even if I am going to be mad poor, but whatever. Polaris is totally worth it. And you should totally come next year and that would be fun times.

And in conclusion, here is a cheesecake, because I am hungry and I'm going to go eat dinner:

Enjoy life, my friends, my dear LamNams, because life can be pretty pumpkins cool sometimes.