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Sunday, July 24, 2011

I May Fall Asleep Half-Way Through This...

So. Yes. The liquidation process has begun at Borders and now we get to come in at 6 o'clock in the morning! Yay! Not. Really. You see, I do not normally function until 9 in the morning. That means my poor co-workers have to be around me for three hours while I stare blankly and refuse to speak with them. And then I work for 8-9 hours. By then I am sleep deprived and loopy. Yesterday I started throwing gift cards at one of my co-workers but instead of being mad he just asked if I could kill him so he didn't have to be on register anymore. Yeah. It's been a bit hard.

He should get this shirt. As long as he is merely
being metaphorical. I don't want him to really
die because he is tall and cool.

BUT. I get along with everyone I work with so we manage to keep each other afloat which is dreadfully needed. And so, I'll take advantage of these end times and post about my highlights.

1) After I'm done with every customer I shout out "I can help the next customer." but the one time I shouted "Have a Good Day!" instead. E, who was standing next to me, bent over in half she was laughing so hard.

Only she has red hair. And is a girl.

2) It is 3pm. I am supposed to be leaving. I wait for back up and am helping this lady. Her total is $15.57. She hands me a twenty and says, "I have the change so you can ring it up."

Uh. Yeah. No. I've had customers try this before. After I open the drawer they suddenly don't have the change and I have to try to figure out their change. I don't have math skills of any kind. So I say, "That's okay. I'll just wait."

She: "But why not? I have the change. It will save time." (she continues to dig in her purse for change and I try not to point out that she is actually wasting time by talking to me instead of just finding her change and moving on.)

Me: "It won't make a big difference so I'll just wait."

She: (pausing) "Why not?"

Me: (not really caring anymore) "Because I'm weird."

She: (stares) "Excuse me?"

Me: "I'm weird."

She: "Why are you weird?"

Me: "I have to do things in a specific way. Just let me do it."

Finally she hands me the change and I give her a five and she walks away clearly very confused.

this was her brain

OH. MY. GOODPOTATOES. People. Just let me be a cashier. You can be a customer. Don't tell me how to do my job. I've been a cashier for a few years now. I know what I'm doing. Just move on.

3) After the crazy change lady leaves I deal with an uber slow person who is so slow it makes my skin feel like it is burning (or maybe I feel that way since there is no air conditioning and it is close to 90 degrees up by the registers. So much fun!) but once the uber slow lady is gone I run away and grab my bag from the back. I also grab a marshmallow rice thing because it is filled with sugar.

love it!

Then I have to get a bag check so that the managers know we aren't stealing things. As my manager, JP, checks my bag a group of teens come in.

1st Teen: "I wonder if the chairs are for sale?"

Me: (in a singsong voice) "Yes, but not for you."

2nd Teen: "Uh. Okay then."

Me: (extremely embarrassed and calling after them) "I'm sorry! I've been awake since five! I'm really tired and I'm leaving."

I run out of the store as fast as I can while JP turns around and covers her face with her hands as she tries to muffle her laughter.

Yeah. This whole liquidation thing is going to be so much fun on my brain.

Have fun my peeps! I'm going to go spend the entire day doing absolutely nothing. it is going to be EPICally fun.


PurpleMist. said...

Hahahaha, I love how you dealt with the lady who was taking out change :P
She must have thought about what you said all the way back home!
Hm, I've never had marshmallow rice before..
LOL, I think you need a break, too bad the liquidation thing is happening before you left!

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

when i started working at McDonalds when i was 15, we had a manager who made sure that each employee knew how to count change using an old-fashioned trick. It was really easy, and too this day, i'm glad she took the time to teach us because it's a really handy skill to have

Anonymous said...

I was at a Borders in November around the time that particular store was liquidating, and one of the people who worked there had stories to tell me. :(

I wondered how cashiers could stomach certain customers. I cringe many times when I'm on line. So many people taking forever to count change, arguing with the cashier, needlessly engaging in lengthy small talk, paying with a check....

Naomi Ruth said...

@PurpleMist: Marshmallow Rice is also known as Rice Krispies, and it you have not had them before, you should! they are yumminess. *nom nom nom*

@Sarah: Ooh... Fancy. I have learned how to count out hundreds of dollars for cash pulls, but that's not as handy.

@Medeia: I think the only way we're surviving is we have an amazing group at our store and we're all keeping each other sane and supporting each other. Like yesterday someone called one of my co-workers stupid and I turned and wouldn't help them. Also, the liquidation company that bought us out refuses to take checks, so that helps SO much.