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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The World Keeps Going On and On

And I keep trying to think of things to post about

And I keep thinking about how much I miss you all. So many of you.

And I keep trying to involve myself in other projects.

And I forget why I started this blog in the first place
(Why did I start this blog in the first place?)

And I met someone who keeps saying that I will be published, and I realize
How much I started to believe
That wasn't possible

And I realized
How much I don't want a back up plan

I don't want to have to create a career based on the fact that I might not succeed and I might be a failure and I might not get published and I might not be okay and I might have to work in awful retail jobs for the next ten years of my life because of the college debt I'm in

And the fact is
I don't care if I have to work in retail for the next twenty years of my life
I don't care if I have to struggle and if it's awful

Because I know I want to be an author
That's why I've been writing since I was able to hold a crayon
Why I've been telling stories since I was able to string syllables together into coherent sounds

The World keeps going around and around and I'm going to keep spinning with it but I don't want to have to have a back-up plan anymore. If I decide to go into the publishing world I want to do it because I love it, not because I need a safety net.

This college thing... Being here, in a different state away from home for really the first time. My first try at college doesn't count, since I went home on the weekends. Being in a completely different environment. I'm learning a whole lot about myself, and I've been so busy figuring out who I am, it's been hard to figure out who my characters are, and my writing life had been precarious at best, and my absence here has been out of necessity, but I don't want to stay here. I want to write more this year. Edit more. Actually be the person I'm realizing I am.

Because I miss you.

I miss the world of writing.

I miss my characters.

I even miss creeping on agents a little bit. Finding out which agents publish which books, which publishing houses publish which of my favorite authors. I miss that whole world.

I don't really know how to end this so...

10 comments:

vic caswell (aspiring-x) said...

*fist pumps*
go get that dream, girl!

Laura Marcella said...

Hi, Naomi! Great attitude! You do what you want, write more, (nicely) stalk agents, and write some more. Have fun!!

PurpleMist. said...

I'm so proud of your new attitude :)
If there's one person I've met on blogger who can make it as an author, it's you, seriously.
Good luck!

Hannah Kincade said...

I have the same goal for this year. Write more, edit more. Push towards that goal! :D

Medeia Sharif said...

I've been at that place where I miss it all.

Write on and good luck.

Naomi Ruth said...

@Vic: Aw, thnks. I will :)

@Laura: Ohmyhi! I missed you! :D I will have fun, indeed.

@PurpleMist: You almost made me cry. Thank you so so much for the kind words.

@Hannah: Good luck! I know you can make it. Because you are awesome.

@Medeia: Thank you :) I wish you luck in your new year endeavors!!

Blam said...

?!?!?

I was sure that I'd commented on this. I've read it more than once; maybe I just wasn't up to forming thoughts at the time or got distra— Squirrel!

Anyway, I think that you have exactly the right attitude. Whatever it takes to live while you're writing, you'll do. My first book was a collection of interviews with comics professionals on how they broke into the business and their advice to aspiring creators; determination was, of course, a key refrain, and there were frequent suggestions of either a finding a day job that allows you to do similar work to what you want to do (copy writing, advertising, etc.) to keep those technical edges honed or finding one that takes up minimal time so that you have plenty left over to keep pursuing your creative goals.

I think I speak for all of us when I say we miss you too. 8^)

Naomi Ruth said...

I was sure that I'd commented on this. I've read it more than once; maybe I just wasn't up to forming thoughts at the time or got distra— Squirrel!

Haha! Yes. I have done that before. I do that with texting all the time too. My friend will ask why I never responded, but I totally did in my head. Technology should just know what I'm thinking and do it.

WAIT NO! I take that back.

I think I speak for all of us when I say we miss you too. 8^)

:)

Blam said...


x^P

WAIT NO! I take that back.

Phew... I thought that I was going to have to school you in the essential fear of automated enslavement of humankind.

Naomi Ruth Thompson said...

Oh, no, no. Do not fear. I am already highly distrusting of technology. YOU WILL NOT ENSLAVE ME YOU HEAR! My phone already has a mind of its own and tries to call people when it gets lonely. It's just the beginning to a possible worldwide technological epidemic.