Happy Endings, Fairy Tale Re-Tellings, and a Non-Related Contest

Well, I've sent off another query letter. It will probably come back as a no, but I need to keep trying or I'll stop completely. And I don't want to stop completely. Because I really like writing. And I really want to be able to share my stories with people. Mostly, because then people will know what I'm talking about when I make referewnces to my books, before remembering that no one has read them, and then I feel like a self-involved attic-hermit. Well. I do want to live in an attic someday and write books. Which is kinda' self-involved. Which. Hm.

MOVING ON like a truck on the highway loaded up with sugar plum fairies:

I have been writing a re-telling of the Little Mermaid and it is very annoying, because all the rest of the stories I've written in that world (Ferdanly) are all told in past tense, but this one wants to be written in present tense. Lame. Not that I have anything against present tense. I have used it for other series. BUT not this one. This one is supposed to be past. I'm letting my characters get away with it for now, but after the first draft we will have a long talk, I assure you.

It's been an interesting process, because the story keeps trying to be force its way into having a happy ending, and I'm having to work with all my might to make it only a nominally happy ending. It can't be entirely happy. That would ruin everything. Because 1) It messes up the whole process of the fact that fairytales are falling apart 2) It ruins what I'm going to do three books from now 3) I don't really like happy happy endings.

Fortunately, I have this character. Her name is Ionuin. She can get away with breaking whatever rules she wants. And, after some finagling, I was able to use her in order to get my books ending the place it needs to be: almost happy, but not quite.

Because life doesn't work out perfect happy happy. There's some happy and there's some not so happy, and that's the way I want my books to be. Some happy. Some not so happy. And some maiming and killing and fighting and brawling and using long ridiculous words that most people have not heard of: like concatenate.

ALSO I went to BEA and have been reading like mad crazy, and I will be writing reviews every Thursday for the 12 Down Unders, like for middle grade, and chapter books, and picture books over at BWOB: Booksellers Without Borders (follow the link thing HEREhttp://www.booksellerswithoutbordersny.com/). AND I will be having a contest tomorrow to give away two books by RL Stine SO, feel free to drop by there tomorrow.

AND If you could have any fairy tale re-done, which one would that be? Are there any that you think have been over-done? Or never done? Do you have a favorite folk tale that no one ever talks aboiut sufficiently?

School Helping with Real Life, What?

I'm a Classical Studies major, and as such this semester I have been taking a class about Pompeii & Herculaneum, and for my final project I've been working on a children's series that connects historical information with fantastical elements. It's aimed at middle graders (which I have been wanting to write one of those for a long time) and it's about a boy (boys have been seriously under written). It has been hugely difficult for two reasons:

I've never had to do actual real research with citations and keeping track of information while writing a book. Holy Cow what? I just write things. But when putting it in Modern day Erculano and ancient Herculaneum suddenly, you have to be sure the artwork is accurate and that the people's names are accurate and ohmygoodness what. What are they wearing? What does water taste like? What did they eat? AND YOU KNOW WHAT. No one cares about the middle class freedmen who didn't make loads of money. So much of my research is so much difficult because people only care about the upper class. And well, only the upper class could really write things that were written in papyri and saved for forever and a day. But phooey to them. I want to write about a freedman, who lost his wife, who takes a boy under his wing, and that boy is going to be a mythologically real creature that doesn't know it.

And this boy's name is Caecilius, and he is unburied in ancient Herculaneum by a Dr. Lazarus - alive. And Caecilius tells his story about life in ancient Pompeii.

And today I had to read my story aloud to class. AHHHHHHHH! Nerve-wracking. Because of the second reason:

I've had a really difficult writing lately. I'm supposed to be editing WhiteWashed. I'm supposed to be querying. I'm supposed to be getting published and at least working for it, but I haven't been. It's just easy to get frustrated because I don't feel like I know what I'm doing, and most of the time I just feel adequate.

You know. When you read a book and you're response is ".................." Nothing bad to say, but nothing to jump over either. And that's what I've been thinking. What if I'm not a good writer? What if I'm just adequate? There must be something I'm doing wrong. A part of it is I'm convinced I'm writing crappy query letters, though that's my fault. But what if what I've written is... just okay.

So today having to read stuff to a bunch of people thinking, hey, what if I'm just adequate? is not a fun thing to do. And, a blessing and a curse, the one girl brought her kids in. Kids that are the age range I'm writing my books for. Plus: the professor knows like EVERYTHING there is to know about Pompeii and Herculaneum. If I get ANYTHING wrong she will know. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Nerve-wracking.

On a side note: wrack is a weird word. Why are my nerves being wracked? That's just weird. Carrying on:

BUT I finished and there was that moment of silence, you know? when someone's reading aloud a good book, not an adequate book, a good one, and after the author stops reading everyone is waiting for me and taking it in... That was the silence I got.

Did you ever know silence can be an incredible gift?

And one of the girls said, "when you publish that book, let me know, so I can read it, and find out what happens." And my professor asked: "So, did you learn anything from her book?" and she said, "I learned that she can write really well." And my professor said, "Yes, we did." She's my advisor and ohmygoodness I was so nervous and AHHHHHHHH.

And the mother came up after me and said, "No, seriously, keep writing those books. The world needs that series."

Can I go cry now? No? I have to write a philosophy paper about Kant?

Well. Why knows. Maybe this paper will also help me in real life. Because there's this strange thing that happens when you just go through life and live it: awesome things happen.

The World Keeps Going On and On

And I keep trying to think of things to post about

And I keep thinking about how much I miss you all. So many of you.

And I keep trying to involve myself in other projects.

And I forget why I started this blog in the first place

(Why did I start this blog in the first place?)

And I met someone who keeps saying that I will be published, and I realize

How much I started to believe

That wasn't possible

And I realized

How much I don't want a back up plan

I don't want to have to create a career based on the fact that I might not succeed and I might be a failure and I might not get published and I might not be okay and I might have to work in awful retail jobs for the next ten years of my life because of the college debt I'm in

And the fact is

I don't care if I have to work in retail for the next twenty years of my life

I don't care if I have to struggle and if it's awful

Because I know I want to be an author

That's why I've been writing since I was able to hold a crayon

Why I've been telling stories since I was able to string syllables together into coherent sounds

The World keeps going around and around and I'm going to keep spinning with it but I don't want to have to have a back-up plan anymore. If I decide to go into the publishing world I want to do it because I love it, not because I need a safety net.

This college thing... Being here, in a different state away from home for really the first time. My first try at college doesn't count, since I went home on the weekends. Being in a completely different environment. I'm learning a whole lot about myself, and I've been so busy figuring out who I am, it's been hard to figure out who my characters are, and my writing life had been precarious at best, and my absence here has been out of necessity, but I don't want to stay here. I want to write more this year. Edit more. Actually be the person I'm realizing I am.

Because I miss you.

I miss the world of writing.

I miss my characters.

I even miss creeping on agents a little bit. Finding out which agents publish which books, which publishing houses publish which of my favorite authors. I miss that whole world.

I don't really know how to end this so...

Other Writers

I love, love, love meeting other writers. Whether it's online, or in "real" life, or whatever. It's fantastic. I have moved down to VA and am attending a college here. Most of my friends I have met write. The one creates worlds and languages like I do, and it's been such a joy to talk about each other's worlds. I don't know. There's just something magical about it. And my other friend is still figuring out how to write, so in the meantime she's drawing pictures of her characters and it's fantastic to listen to the ideas that will one day find their way onto paper.

And to think I was nervous about moving away from home. Sometimes I forget about the magic that exists in the writing and Geek world. It doesn't matter who you are, what you do, what you like, what you don't like, as soon as you find a fellow writer or Geek there is an instant connection, an instant bond of friendship. It's so much fun.

And it makes world building so much easier. I love writing stuff with others. There's something about the interaction that just works for me. And when I'm not writing with someone I have found it is super useful to bounce my ideas off of someone else. I have been stuck on my Haunbrinth series, just not sure where to take it. I've been unable to write anything because I haven't known the end of the series, and I have to know what the end is, what the goal is, before I can go forward.

Today I was talking with this one fellow that I met who writes. I am basing a character off of him because I like to do that (I always get permission first, of course) me. I came back to my dorm to write out a basic outline based on this new character and suddenly it all made sense to me. I know the entire arch. I know why the beginning starts the way it does. I was having issues with the beginning and now I know why.

This is why the writer community is so important to me. It's so important to have fellow writers that you can talk with. Not only to get ideas, or to get through pot tangles, but to get encouragement and to stay excited. NaNoWriMo begins in a couple of weeks and now I feel much more confident.

So thank you to writers and Geeks everywhere. You make my life beautiful.

A Not-So Happy Ending: Killing Off Main Characters

I'm working on a novel for Camp NaNoWriMo. It is an idea I've had for a long time. It's about a Princess who gets tired of waiting for her Prince to rescue her. It's about how her story is all wrong and is not going the way it's supposed to. It's about her journey to try and figure out what is wrong with her. It's about her running from a terrible choice she made. She is a Princess and is not sure exactly what that means anymore.

Woe is me! I know not what being a Princess means!

Now, some of you may be aware: I kill characters.

CrazyPants!

There are few stories where I don't kill off someone. In fact, I want to write a story where I keep killing off the narrator. But generally I don't have terrible endings. I believe in hope. I believe in happy endings. Maybe bittersweet endings. But I don't believe in Romeo and Juliet endings.

I'm sorry... But I find their story so pathetic :(

This story I'm working on could have two possible endings. There is the bittersweet ending or there is the Romeo and Juliet ending. And you know what? I really, really want to go with the terrible, terrible, kill off the main character ending.

I told my mom this and she said, "That would be a bold choice." I know that bold can just be a synonym for suicidal, so I was curious.

What do you think of terribly sad endings? How do you feel about writers killing off the main character at the end? I mean, it's not an easy choice. This is the character you've made your reader character about. This is the person they've cheered for, cried for, cared for. Killing them off? Such an action can kill writer's and their careers.

Thus I came here, curious about what you guys think about killing characters. Should only minor characters die, or would you be okay with a main character being killed off at the end??

A Quick Note

Laters this week I should have a post about Arbor Day, but until then I thought I should let you knows: I started a Spake Blog Here --> In this Secret Link <-- And I have been blogging there regularly. I don't know why, but I have ideas spilling out of my head and I just know I could blog until the wombats and alpacas come home with the cows... (So, if you see someone named Spakedom commented on your blog it's just me under a Secret Guise trying to confused the population of bloggers)

BUT over here I feel like I am floundering just the tiniest of bits. I was talking to a customer at work today and he mentioned that he was looking into self publishing and we started talking and along the way I mentioned I had a blog. He said, "Oh, what's it about?" And I kinda' gaped at him like a fish. Like this fish:

*goes to find picture of gaping fish*

*is disgusted and runs away*

Ugh. *shudders* I forgot that I am Utterly Detested of fish. Grossgrossgrossgrossgross....

You know what. Forget the gaping picture of mouths. I HATE mouths. I have just decided.

ANYWAYS...

So I thought to myself, "I don't know what it's about? Is that okay?"

And I wondered to myself: "Does it bother you?" I mean. It's all well in good to write for oneself, but if I were to write only for myself I would be writing in a journal. In a book. That you did not see. Cause that's the thing with a blog. A part of it is for me, sure, but it's also for You guys. Are you annoyed that there's no structure this way? That I come and go and wander around and dance into the fog while you're still boarded up inside? Or that I board myself up at home while you're dancing in the square?

So I suppose, if you want my Solid Responsible Consistent part of me you can visit Spakedom. If you want my Spastic Colon, Wombat Squealing, Hyper-Active Mocha-Coffee part of me you can visit me over here. Sometimes I think there is too much of me to stay in one place. Which is why I'm always accidentally sprinkling bits and pieces of me into my characters.

Maybe that's what all authors do. They have so much inside of them that they can't keep it all to themselves and they just end up spilling it out into words. Or artists do it through pictures. Or musicians through music.

It is said that creative people tend to have more connections between their different brain parts. Maybe we simply don't know what to do with all those connections. So we throw up our souls onto slips of paper and parade them around in the hopes that someone else can make sense of them. But in a good way. In a way where we're most happiest, most at peace, when we're writing, since that's what we were created to do at birth, what with our messed up brains. And stuff.

I think that makes sense. Either that or my one character, Philosophical Solomon, is just messing with my brain again.

Age & Nightshade

Recently I read Nightshade by Andrea Cramer. It was pretty good. The mythos was fascinating and not something I had read before. The characters were real and I could relate with them. And I was excited because the language was nice and clean.

However, this book did bring up something that I've noticed in YA books. If I had read this when I was actually a teen I would've been very, Very, VERY uncomfortable. There were at least three scenes that were heavy on the sensual and I had to question myself: Is this appropriate? I mean, the one bathroom scene was so disconcerting. Is this really happening in schools?? And if it is, why is this okay? When did the physical boundaries between guys and girls get chucked out the window?

Now, I understand that in the books situation the girl was preparing to get married and was being treated as an adult and all that. But still. This is not the only book that pushes the physical boundaries. My friend read the Halo books and said there was a scene in them where she was going "Holy Crow! She should not be doing that!"

I also am reminded of one of the panels I sat in on at Polaris where one of the YA authors said their agent was telling them to make their book Sexier. Omgoodness... WHY!? There is a large demographic out there that does NOT want it to be sexier, who are Tired of Sex permeating Everything, especially our used-to-be safe books. And they're pushing it younger and younger. Independent Readers/Middle Grade books are starting to get a little scary when it comes to the relationship aspects to life.

My question is: When did it become okay for teens to have sex with random people before they're married? When did it become okay for authors to TELL teens that this is okay behavior? Yes, yes. I understand that you want a world to be believable. Diana Peterfreund in her Killer Unicorn books has to deal with that temptation because if the girl's aren't virgins they ain't going to be Unicorn Hunters. But I think she does a pretty darn good job of not making it Way Too Awkward for me to read.

At first I thought one of the reasons for the Sultriness was because it seems like a whole lot of Romance novelists are writing for YA now, but that's not fair. Karen Armstrong wrote for YA and her books were very well written and tastefully done when it came to the romance. It was *gasp* Age Appropriate.

So I'm curious what you think? Are Teen books becoming Too Much Sexy? Are you okay with the sexified state of books? Also: On a slightly unrelated note, do you think it would help if a twenty-something age group of books were developed so you could have slightly sexier books without them being for teens?

Binge Reading and Bulimia

I have a question for you. Do you binge read? I know I tend to. I will go for awhile without reading anything and then suddenly Ican'tstopreadingtosavemylifeandImustkeepreadingandth

erearetoomanybooksandwordswordsstinkingwords

I also do this with writing. You know, where you haven't written since November and suddenly you lock yourself in your room and start screaming about your characters?

Okay. Ahem. Maybe screaming isn't a normal part of the writing experience, but moving on.

It got me to thinking about bulimia. And no, I'm not going to make fun of bulimic people. I know it's a serious thing and I'm not trying to take away from that. However...

I have always thought about my writing experience as this:

1) Read a Thousand Books.

b) Spend two days-two weeks in shock.

3) Write a Book.

Or in pictures:

See the clown read...

Eat Clown, Eat!

Watch the Clown Vomit.

Clown just wrote a book!

Good job, Clown.

Basically, that is what I look like when I write my first drafts.

How 'bout you? *sits at computer and waits* *grabs chips* *waits*

Reasons I Failed at NaNo 2010

Yes. I completely and totally failed.

My First Novel clocked in somewhere at 6,ooo words. Then I stopped, despite the exploding wardrobes.

My Second Novel edged in with 6,5oo words and then that sputtered and died. A bunch of you guys ended up popping up in my novel, which was fine at first. There was Mia (with unknown powers), Mercedes and Simon (these two as Vampires), Wolfie402 (as a werewolf), Laura Marcella (who is a mystery), and the list just kept on growing. But after I had Evil Blam show up with a Zombie Joan Crawford, I just couldn't take the story Seriously anymore and I had to stop before I started losing my very own sanity. I have very little sanity left. I need all the sanity I can hold onto.

This is what I look like on a good day

Thus the Third Novel was picked up. It was inspired by Ellen Hopkins and Laurie Halse Anderson. As you may imagine, it is not exactly a Fun book to write. There is a whole lot of Emotional Trauma. It deals with rape, suicide, cutting... All sorts of stuff. The one girl I found myself empathizing with... Well. I was thinking a little bit Too Much like her. When I started feeling suicidal I decided it would be healthy to take a week or so off from writing it. I started again a couple of days ago and am doing Fine now, but I seriously needed that time off.

So I didn't win this year. But I think that's okay, because I did write some stuff I probably wouldn't've otherwise.

SO...

Congratulations to everyone who Finished NaNo! And Congrats to those who tried, even if they weren't able to finish.

Here's Cake:

It's Pretty!

Have a great day me LamNams! :) Hope y'all had a great Thanksgiving (for those of you here in the States) for the rest of you I hope you had a Wonderful day toooo.... YAY!

NaNo Update...

With the help of Twitter and my Twitter friends on there, I was able to convince my friend, H.M. Komorowski, to write my NaNo novel for me. Finally I convinced him, considering the idea included exploding wardrobes and creepy forests. I was very happy to sit back and watch him write until this morning.

As I may have mentioned before, a whole LOT of my ideas come from dreams.

I am the cat, and the ambiguous 'Z' is a story idea

Thus I woke up with a Serious Problem. I had two ideas to pursue for this month. And I like them both. And I'm having trouble writing either one. This is why I decided it is NOT a good idea to finish writing a novel the eight days before NaNoWriMo. Just NOT a good idea. *shakes head*

Now I must decide what to do... Exploding Wardrobes or an Excess of Sugary Cereals? The choice is just so difficult.

Am I the only one who finds this picture Disturbing??

Anyway. That's where I am right now. ALSO, in an hour I have to run to my new job and try not to DIE. I haven't worked for two months. It will be Weird. Definitely Daunting.

NaNo Now!... Well... Almost

Like some other bloggy people I too am going to be doing NaNoWriMo this year. Unlike some other bloggy people, I still have No Idea what to write. I'm guessing I'll figure it out, just picking something randomly when the time comes. What'll be interesting is on November 1 I'm going to be taking a trip down to VA in order to visit a Secret College, so my first two writing days will be full of Driving Long Distances. Hopefully I'll be able to get home early enough on Tuesday that not too much time will be lost. Ah well. I'll have enough days to make up for it, hopefully.

BUT...

Last year I was going to do a Videcumentary because I knew some people had done such a thing before. But I didn't because I was in school, had a job, and was writing a novel. Plus other things I'm sure. Anyway. This year I will attempt to make some vlogs, and I'm warning you they will be very Boring. I'm trying to think of a way to Spice it up, so if anybody has any ideas, feel free to advise me. No idea is too stupid. Wait. I take it back. Some ideas are way beyond stupid. But. Anyway.

Right now it WILL NOT LOAD... But as soon as I can get it to load, I totally will.

And that's about all, my bloggy lamnams! Oh... By the way... Thank you for all your encouragement! I did finish WhiteWashed and am now Editing it. So Exciting! :D

Before Publishing...

My friend was asking me for advice the other day about looking for agents. Now, I don't really think of myself as an expert, especially with such people around as Elana Johnson and Nathan Bransford, but I have done a bit of research so the idea of being helpful just about made my day a bit more sunshiney. This, of course, would've been a whole lot better if it wasn't already a thousand degrees over here, but still. Worth it.

Thus, I have decided to share my advice with you all.

A) Don't get published yet. Yup. Pretty much the first thing I have to say. I totally agree with other Smart People that before a Writer/Author person gets published they should first Enjoy the Freedom they have. Think about it. You get to write whatever you want, whenever you want (within reason), without demands, or pressure, or having to write outlines or anything. It's like being single. Sure, married life can be just swell, but it comes with a whole lot of responsibility. And unlike with marriages nowadays, it's much harder to 'divorce' yourself from publishing a book. So party with your unpublished book and make sure you're ready for the Crazy that follows getting published. Yeah, yeah, yeah... What do I know? It's not like I'm published, and it's not like I'm following my own advice. But that doesn't mean someone out there shouldn't be listening to this sound advice. Just because I'm crazy doesn't mean you should be too.

2) Research Agents: This includes knowing their name, what Agency they work with, what books they have helped get published. I like to check such books out from the library to see if I like them. Because if I like them, then the agent and I might actually have tastes in common. This, of course, means that you cannot go around querying everyone in the universe. But wait! Don't forget to find out the agents favorite color, so that you can use that as your Query letter font color. Plus, finding ways to bribe them is always nice. Or, adding in extra tidbits in your query letter like this: "I saw you at the grocery store the other day (even though we live in different states) and think that you look fab in pink. Even if it was a frayed, disgusting, robe."

3) Get a blog. I'm serious. There is so much information out there available to you through blogs... It's insane. Although... If you're reading this you probably already have a blog. So. This is a pointless point. Moving on!

D) Become a part of every networking site possible. Goodreads, Facebook, Jacketflap, Lunch, Twitter... So many that your brain falls out from the madness! Okay, okay, I kid. Only be part of the things that you can handle. If you can handle everything on the planet, then forge ahead. If you can't, don't kill yourself.

E) Buy (or capture and tame) a strange animal. Like an armadillo, or Zombie Kittens (more on that at a later time), or platypus, or an arrdvark, or a fairy/pixie (though they'll probably kill you or curse you to always eat frogs), albatrosses, hyenas, large unfriendly dragons, invisible purple godzilla monsters, buffalo, manatees... The list goes on! (My co-worker can't stop naming them now, she's so excited...flamingoes, penguins [Mr. Popper's Penguins!], camels, alpacas, zedonk.) It will help you be more creative and make you more unique. Plus, you can mention that in your query letter, because agents love useless information.

6) Know your genre. If you think your genre is "Pizzaz" I promise you, you will not find a (legit) agent who represents the genre "Pizzaz." Also, do not say you have a 'Historical Fantasy Literary Woman's fiction, with a twist of Suspence and Horror and Thriller and definitely a Mystery in there somewhere.' Not unless you want Literary Agents to throw invisible darts at your non-existent head. And you head will be non-existent because they will have blown it up with their mind powers. And yes, agents have mind powers. That's why I'm becoming one.

*Some of this may be written seriously, while others may or may not be sarcastic. If you can't tell the difference, throw pies in my general direction. Mmm... pies.

I Think I had Sugar When I Wrote This?

Oh my sugarcane! I totally forgot how to blog!

No. Seriously. I was writing stories and creating time lines, but every time I thought about blogging my brain went ZWAP! "Blogging? What is that? That sounds foreign and hard and difficult."

And then today I finally was able to read some blogs and it was like remembering how to ride a bike with another ZWAP! I remembered "Oh! That's blogging. That still sounds foreign and hard and difficult, but I will be foreign and hard and difficult, so we will match."

Okay. Maybe I didn't think that word for word, but you can pretend.

Oh! Today I heard a magical compliment!

First things first, I finished the first (short) draft of Cinnamon and Calamus: or Why You Shouldn't Trust Spakes and I sent it to some peeps. One person was my mum. And guess what she asked me???

"Did you write this, or did ElvishVampireHobbit?" (Only, she used my friend's real name, because my mum actually knows my friends' names because she is cool like that, and she's not creepy enough to know them by their blogging names)

And then I spazzed out!

You see, the main girl is named Scotch, and she is based on ElvishVampireHobbit. If ElvishVampireHobbit was scooched over into a side reality, she would be Scotch. So I wanted her to NOT sound like me at all, but like my friend. And my mum wasn't sure if I had written it, or if my friend had.

WIN! I got the voice down! Hoorah! :D

I was so worried it would sound too much like me, and my stalkerish tendencies had gone completely to waste.

You see, stalking people is good for some things. I watch people, pay attention to what words they use and stuff. Especially if I'm basing a character off of them, I get really weird. I keep their texts and analyze them, I hang out with them just so I can see what kind of faces they make, or whether or not they have weird finger twitches. YES I AM A FREAK! But it helps me write stories so pshah, it's okay. Plus, I only stalk people when I have permission. Usually. Ahem.

Enough sounding like a freak. I am going to go and pretend to be productive. Charge!

This is pretending to be productive

This is charging.

Yay!

I have no idea why this is exciting, but it is!

Loads of Excitement

1) I know I already said this, but it's still exciting: I figured out (for now) what I want to do with my life, and I'm actually excited, and I actually have a plan on how to achieve it. Yay!

2) I JUST GOT ACCEPTED TO COLLEGE! Yay! It's at the same place the Sis is going to and even though my dad and mum said, "Pshhht, with your grades you'll be fine," I was still worried about getting in. And I did!! Tomorrow I get everything set up. Hopefully. The internet isn't working at home (I'm at work right now, shh) and someone forgot to do her FAFSA. AH!

3) Guess what I wrote? *nods emphatically* Yes. I wrote the Difficult Scene. You see, first I called my friend (some of you know her as ElvishVampireHobbit) and talked with her, and then I went to work. Afterwards I was walking to my car and there was the moon streaming down ethereal light, and a scrub-of-a-brillo-bush, and large reed like grass nodding and hiccuping in the wind, and...

Suddenly I was talking like this:

Obadiah: "You have to trust me." (Obadiah wasn't really there, but I was talking in his voice)
Micaiah: "Trust you? What do you mean?"
Obadiah: "I mean there are some things I have to do that you can't know about, and you have to trust that I will keep the good of the Spakes in mind."
Scotch: "Cause that's not vague."

And then a car door slammed behind me and I jerked around, now fully aware that some woman had been standing behind me, and was probably jumping into her car as fast as possible since there was some kind of freak (namely me) staring into the bushes talking to herself.

BUT it was Worth it. Not only did I write that scene, I wrote Another one. And I bumped up my word count from 43,000 to 46,000. Well, almost 46,000, but it's close enough.

So thank you my Lame Namers (my LamNams?) for threatening me.

Can I have some cookies now?
And could someone unglue me from this chair?

P.S. Do YOU have anything Exciting to share?

Writerly Snacks... And Kind Threats

I don't usually snack when I write, but I still thought this was cool...

Over at YA Highway they had a "What Kind of Writerly Snack Are You" and I thought it was pretty cool. I was fruit, which fits perfectly. I love me some good fruit.

If you want to take the test here's the link: This Is A Link (but it might be wrong, so it's probably best just to go over to YA Highway, since they are super cool anyway)

And that's all for now, except for:

I am almost done with m first Spake book. I just need one more scene to write. Could a couple of you start threatening me (in the most creative way you can think of without being vile or potty-mouthed) so that I actually write the stupid thing? Only if you want to. Thanks.

I'll talk to you later, my writing pals. (Seriously, one day I will think of an Epic name to call you guys, until then, I will just call you Lame Names)

How to Stop Blog Lethargy

In the past four days I have had an awful hard time thinking of something to blog about. And then I'll think of something! And I'll write five words! And then I'll think it's stupid! And it pretty much stops there.

No.

Really. I have at least five posts sitting in my 'Posting' tab that I just Could Not finish.

Which got me thinking: What are the best possible ways to fight Blog Lethargy?

1. Freestyle: Just write whatever gobbley-gook that you want. It doesn't matter if it's good, as long as it doesn't make any sense, like my poetry!

Example: "Around the corner bend museum, Hark! A spotted lamb, I love your shiny shoes."

2. Word/Picture Association: Using google and a dictionary look up a random word, find a pic that matches it, that reminds you of another word, that makes you find another pic, and etc.

Example: "Simon"

"Monopoly"

"Six-Flags-Dude"

You cannot deny his creepiness

3. Take your time to angst about everything in your life. Even if you don't know what angst is, don't worry about it. It will come naturally to you.

Example: "I hate my life, my hot boyfriend isn't really my boyfriend, and I think cows are skinnier than I am."

4. Take a moment to share random pictures For No Apparent Reason.

Example: "These are some of my fav pics from when I went to the British Museum!"

A bird!

A pig... I think.

5. Document yourself doing a Most Normal Event, and make it as epic as possible.

Example: "My arm strained forward toward the kleenex box as if in slow motion. My heart thudded louder than gunshots in my ears, non-ending, perfectly spaced gunshots. My whole body was palpitating under the extreme stress. I wasn't going to make it. Fear blanched my skin, sweat oozed out of my pores as if my entire body had become one with my nose.

Aha! Victory! My fingers snatched up the kleenex just in time to catch the dripping snot that loomed out of my nose like a vicious disease-covered rope."

Anybody else have any ideas? *is hopeful*

P.S. I am mostly being serious about these, although one or two entries may have inadvertently become sarcastic.

A Strange Place to Get Stuck

Pic found here

This is a Strange Place

I have noticed a trend in my writing. And no, I'm not talking about these kind of trends:

Pic found HERE

Erm... This is trendy??

*shudders* Anyway. One of my trends in writing is NOT finishing the second to last chapter. I know, weird place isn't it? I can write beginnings with little to no difficulties, and endings make me happy. Sure, the middle can be a tad difficult to make sure all the pieces are in the right order. But hand me the second to last chapter...

And suddenly

I can think

Of nothing.

It's true!

Thanet's Curse, which has plagued me since February, taunting me with the fact that I don't have any desire to finish it. Forget you, thou second-to-last chapter of death! I've been running from the aforementioned novel cringing with the thought of dealing with that chapter.

Then there's Luperin, the sequel to Haunbrinth. Now, there aren't really chapters (is this legal?) but I wrote everything but the few scenes right before the end, so it's about the equivalent of the second-to-last Chapter of Doom! I keep saying I'll finish it, but I haven't. Because. I don't want to deal with it.

There's even Myzi, which you guys don't even know about. Guess what I've written? Yup. Pretty much everything but that last final chapter. (And the third to last chapter, but you get the point.)

It's a plague, I tell you, a plague.

Check Melanie's blog out here.

She has some good stuff.

Google is not cooperating today

I don't know how this is a Writer's Plague

And I don't know whether this is cool

Or so creepy I should go about screaming

I was working on Cinnamon and Calamus: of Why You Shouldn't Trust Spakes when I stopped. Anyone want to guess why? Yes, you, the one in the front moving your arm languidly back and forth like a fan? Why! You're correct. I did get stuck on the Second-to-Last Chapter of Destruction.

But I have found a way to fight it and I will be victorious! You see, this is the story I am writing that is based off of an inside joke.

Foot pic here

Eh, that's a weird looking foot

Of course, most feet look weird

Feet Are Weird

No, no, not the foot inside joke. The Spake inside joke. Anyway, so I made myself a promise. (Those pesky little promises won't leave me alone. I keep making them. *sigh*) Every time I see this Friend I have to have written at least one paragraph from the Second-Chapter-of-Dearth.

And guess what?? I have written at least half of the Horrible Chapter :D

The only down-side to my excitement? It's too short. Again. I'm only at 34,000 and That's Too Short.

I have decided that all of my books should be stamped with the label: S.A.S Books.

Short Attention Span Books. It's difficult for me to write long books (that are based solely on one character) because after 50,000 words I'm bored and done with that character. Let's move on. Plus, lately I've been having a hard time finishing long books. I think that's one of the many reasons I've been reading more and more Middle Grade books. (Though, they're not always shorter.)

So, my dearies, where do you get stuck when writing? Have you found any tricks to get past those tough parts? Do you like short books or do they annoy your face off?

(P.S. My brother, Dave, is reading my book right now, and it is much more hilarious when he reads it. Ahahaha...)

BIG LIFE PLANS

When I was on vacation I told myself, "I will write everyday! I will blog, and read people's blogs, and I will comment like a BEAST!"

Then I got strep throat. And I turned off my computer. And pretended to be a caveman.

So then on the way home I told myself, "I will write everyday! I will blog, and read people's blogs, and I will comment like a major BEAST!!"

Yup. That worked well.

So then I told myself, "I will never make a promise ever again!"

But.

Then I realized.

That's a promise too.

Let me explain what my life is like.

I make Big Life Plans, lining up my little ducks:

Aren't they adorable and orderly?

then God knocks them all down.

It would be just like God to use an eight ball too.

Here, you want to ask an eight ball what to do?

*sounds of crashing ducks*

It says to ask me.

Ahem. Anyway. So I have finally made some Big Life Plans, and I'm pretty much letting my ducks run around haphazard. Instead of holding them like this:

Ahahaha... That girl is serious about her duckies.

My Big Life Plans: To become a literary agent. My plan? Um. Yeah. Nothing really nailed down shut yet. I'm applying to a college (the same one sis is going to.) And I'm planning on losing my mind in boring classes.

Oh... Wow.

0_O

That's some class.

In the meantime I've discovered a secret about writing: Just do whatever you want.

Okay, okay. This Sounds Bad, but it's not. I've been so worried about getting things done when they need to be done blah, blah, blah, that I'm not having fun with it anymore and I'm sure as dinosaurs not enjoying it.

Which is dumb, because I gave Haunbrinth another edit (oh! By the way, I have a page for that now up at the top. If you read/already read it and think it needs work, let me know. If you so desire, anyway.) Plus I've written a couple of words for Spake 1, and I've been figuring out a lot of Spake stuff with my lovely friend who is like a twin to me.

So I'm not going to freak out and say: "I can't work on Invisible Love because it's not on the LIST!!!!!!! Auuuuuuuuuuggghhhhhhhh!!!!" because that's stupid. You know, I would definitely yell "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhk!" I never say Augh anymore.

Moving on. I will still edit my books, and I will still write new stories, and I will do whatever I want. Because one day I'll have an agent and an editor telling me what I can and cannot do, so for now I'll just shout: "Don't tell me what I can and cannot do!" while I still can.

Ooh! Look at the pretty knife! :D

Later, my blogging peeps.

OMB!

(Oh My Bananas)

Check out this link about peeps

???!?!?!?!?!

W is for Who, What, When, Where, Why, and Woh

1. Who?

This is a question all writers must ask themselves when they are writing a story/sonnet/novel/ haiku. Who. And I'm not talking about who are your main characters, who is the protagonist, antagonist, blah, blah, blah. No, I'm talking about: Who are the couple standing on the ege of the roof over there? Why are they exchanging mysterious packages (without the Main Character noticing of course)? And who are they planning on giving the mysterious package to? This way when in chapter 32 when the Evil Villain of Doom pulls out a mysterious box the reader isn't left wondering where it came from. Also, make sure you go into Complete Detail about the grocer and how when he was two years old a cat scratched his leg. It will do nothing to make the plot go forward, but it will be most entertaining.

2. What?

What is your character wearing? What are they thinking about at ALL times? What is their favorite sweater? What do they do when they meet strange figures emerging out of mysterious blue smoke? What is their cholesterol level? Plus, be sure to map out their complete history, starting from birth. This will make your story/novel/sonnet/haiku ridiculously long, but remember, Readers are stupid and you must spell everything out for them.

3. When?

No, I'm not talking about when the story/novel/sonnet/lymrick happens, because that of course, will be written in LARGE BOLD LETTERS on every single page because, remember, Readers have no brains. Because, I mean, you're a writer, and you obviously don't read books because you have a brain. Only people who write have brains. No, I'm talking about when does anything interesting happen? Because you have all the backstory at the front you need a Giant Asterisk to mark where the Exciting part happens, so people can skip over the backstory part. Because Readers are so unthoughtful that way. Don't they know you took ages to write that Meaningless, Pointless, Dribble?? They should so totally read it, the jerks.

4. Where?

Again, I'm not talking about Where, as in time and place, because that will be stamped on the corner of every page, duh. What I'm talking about is Where in Reality does it take place? Most people don't know this, but there are loads of Realities out there, and they just might get confused and think your story/novel/haiku/lymrick/sonnet is in their Reality instead of a different one. Make sure you repeat yourself as many times as necessary, make sure you repeat yourself as many times as neccessary, make sure....

5. Why?

Forget about Why your character wishes to do whatever it is he/she is doing. Instead, make sure to question all of life's major questions. People don't need to take Philosophy classes, they just need to read your book. Ask questions like, Why do trees fall over? (even if your book/story/poem is set in a place without trees), Why do marmosets have days like these? Do we really exist? Why are we here? and Why do authors write so wonderfully? (make sure to have an Authors of Note, and list yourself first.) Everyone will talk about your book for days on end.

6. Woh?

In honor of Dyslexics everwhere write random words sdrawkcab and all ixmed pu. It doesn't matter if no one else can read what you're writing, those with Brain Malfunctions everywhere will sing your praise. How do you write your words backwards and all mixed up? By a mirror and a blender. Write your manuscript, stuff it in the blender. When it is thoroughly shredded take out the pieces and look at it through a mirror. You will see from every angle that by following this outrageous advice, you have created a Masterpiece worth burning.

S is for Spakes and Spices and Something Secret

Spakes. Just exactly what are they? And why are they cropping up all over this mad-crazy person's blog? I have questioned sharing information on these creatures, because I want it to be a surprise if it should ever get published. (Which it will because I love Scotch so much.) However, I figure it won't hurt to give you some glimpses into the life of a spake. Beware: They are very vague and will probably annoy you so much that you will not be able to get away fast enough.

[But wait! Don't run away! Stick around to the end for news on an upcoming... ;) I'm not gonna' tell you yet, silly. You have to wait for Something Secret.]

1) Their existence began in ancient Egypt. Never mind, how, for right now. Just know that Egyptian scribes can be stupid when messing around with the Book of the Dead.

My lame attempt at Egyptian artwork

2) Obadiah likes to jump off of pyramids. Solomon, however, likes music. He ended up sitting by the Nile watching the hippos. Yup. He was always a little loose in the head. Still not sure why he went total mad, but my friend and I are still working on it. (Oh! By the way, said friend just started out a blog, which makes me crazy happy.)

No, I did not draw this during youthgroup

when I was supposed to be paying attention

to the message. *Gives innocent look*

3) If you ever meet a girl named Zipporah who is super happy and weird, DO NOT TRUST HER. She is most probably a spake and will probably kill you.

4) Spakes kill people. Most of the time it's not their fault, unless he's Habakkuk. Then it's just from enjoyment, because Habakkuk is a psychopath.

This is what a psycho path looks like

Because psycho paths are stickmen?

5) Sometimes spakes kill people wrong (::cough cough:: Jedediah ::cough cough::) and this causes all kinds of annoying issues for the person being eated. If you find yourself being attacked by spakes, and you have no way of escape, make sure you tell them to eat you properly. Trust me.

The main reason why I bring spakes up is because I'm trying to figure some stuff out about them. For one thing, spices are super important, but I cannot figure out why. There seems no reason for it. Thus, I will have to do more research on Herbs and Spices. If any of you know the names of some good books on Herbs and Spices, feel free to let me know.

With questions of spakes turning through my mind I went to the library and asked the question, "I'm creating a mythological creature. Do you have any book recommendations for that?" Because I've heard numerous times that librarians are good people, and they want to help. Two of the librarians (one of them knows me by name now, which is kinda' funny) went running around, and the one who knows me by name said she had a book at home I would probably like, and she would find out the name of it and get back to me later. How cool is that? I felt very pampered, and even if I still don't know anything about spices, I know more about Dwarves, which is important for Pixie Princess.

It leaves me happily doodling scenes from Scotch's perspective, and leaves me wondering aimlessly about Solomon (a spake). All in all, it can be stated that today was one happy day.

~~~

WAIT! Have you run away yet in fear? In boredom??

First, here's a Pumpkin pic that I forgot, and I asked especial permission from my friend to use it, so I would feel terrible if I didn't post it up here:

Hand made Punkin Love

Alright, moving on.

What is this Something Secret?? It's actually not really a secret, so I kinda' lied, but that's because I didn't want to have any Spoilers by putting the true name up in the title.

Enough of this rambling!

I'm here to tell you about: The Super Sister Contest!!! Yay!!

When my sis, Rebecca/Sonshine, and I each reach 108 followers we will have a slam-bang of a contest. There will be books, and cool things, and stuff, and... Basically it's so cool I don't even know what all we will have yet!! I do know that I will be making mini-pillows for the event. And for any men readers out there, pillows ARE manly.

So get excited, and feel free to get the word out on this slam-bang Super Sister Contest. Check out my sis (if you haven't already) over at:

Sonshine Thoughts

She does a weekly Retail Wednesdays that will make your sides hurt from laughing too much. Or your noise. Sometimes your noise will hurt from laughing too much. (That is, if you're drinking soda while reading her blog, which isn't a safe thing to do.)

And I think that's all! :D

Oh! Wait! Other people are having contests too...

Like, Caledonia Lass over at Writings, Musings, and Other Such Nonsense is having a sister contest with Cheri. Check it out!! It's full of awesomesauce.

And Kristin Creative is having an easy-cheesy contest. Make sure you read the comment entries, they're hilarious.

And check out the Birthday Phenomenon over at Cleverly Inked, if you haven't already. It's crazy!!

AND The Alliterative Allomorph is having a contest tooooo.

I think that's all :)