This is a Picture of a Chair

...

It's just sitting there.

And I keep thinking about consciousness and zombie toasters (zombie's according to Chalmers, that is) and the fact that we don't believe that inanimate objects have "consciousness" or individual identities or selves or an expressable "I."

And I think how unfair that is.

And I think of the book Brother to Dragons, Companion to Owls, where the main character can hear things like stuffed animals and doors and walls and people thinks she's crazy but she's not. Because she really can hear doors and walls and inanimate objects that we say do not have identities or any abilities to communicate.

And I want to know why.

And I want to push at philosophers and make them explain to me why this assumption is in place. Is it only because you cannot conceive of it? Cannot imagine it? Because I can. So many times I feel like a book is judging me, or a chair looks lonely, or a rock feels angry, or.... Is this merely me taking my own mental states and attributing them to inanimate objects? Am I just crazy? Am I just using language and feelings in ways that only writers use language and feelings?

I don't know.

But I wish philosophers would quit saying so forcefully that they know that chairs do not have identities or personalities or "consciousness" or anything at all they are just wood and cloth and little bits of metal nails.

Because we don't really know anything - now do we?

Finals, What are Those?

I am studiously ignoring my finals, and my final papers, and everything that is due this week. This is a much practiced skill.

Side note: Why isn't practiced spelled with an s? Practised. It makes more sense.

This is not just procrastinating. This is studious. I have a list. It totally makes the whole process legit and everything.

1) I go around telling everyone that English grammar was greatly influenced by Cornish, despite the fact that people argue against this.

2) I write Akkadian on my arm and try to memorize the Code of Hammurabi in original Sumerian/Akkadian in its original symbols. Because they have exciting triangles and stick things.

3) I go around on walks, explaining the differences between Kant, Hume, Locke, Berkeley, Descartes, and Leibniz. I also talk about how much I hate all of them (except for Kant and Berkeley) and I explain how I am going to time travel and make them eat horrible fungus things, like mushrooms.

4) I educate people on the fact that there are some squirrels that are really baby elephants. Like caterpillars turning into butterflies, and tadpoles turning into frogs. So do certain squirrels turn into baby elephants.

5) I try to create my own cult that worships the Khabrananairirsa. He is a purple-tailed lizard who eats cheese.

6) I write musicals and go around singing the songs all day. I also play on the piano and guitar.

7) I write blogs. And lists.

And because I am so busy doing these incredibly important seven things, I don't even remember I have homework or finals. It is quite a successful list, if I do say so myself.

How do you studiously ignore things? My roommate makes me or buys me delicious food.

Random Thing! I Want to be a Philosophy Minor

I want to minor in philosophy! I am taking two classes and now deconstruct everything everyone says. It highly amuses me.

Here is a random thing I wrote the other day:

"A joke is understood between the two parties involved. If only one side understands it as a joke, can it truly be a joke? Is a joke's reality dependent upon the understanding of both intended parties? If the one side does not understand it as a joke is that the fault of the offending party, the offended party's fault, or is the fault found within the joke itself?"

:D

Later I will show you my ridiculous conversation with my friend concerning sweet potatoes.

I am going to be an annoying person and it will be wonderful.