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Friday, July 16, 2010


The other day I was thinking about loglines for my story.

Yes, yes, I know I don't even have an agent yet. What's that? I'm not even published. Pshah. Whatever. I have way too much of Amarilla's personality running through me right now to worry about that. (No, she's not another personality of mine, she's a character so shut up. See?! I tell you, she's all over the place. I would never normally tell you to shut up, but there I did. Blah.)

So instead of trying to edit my book so I can query it. (Which, by the way, I am dying to do, because I just found the most amazing literary agency ever, and I am dying to query the one dude because he is awesomesauce, and I'm hoping desperately that he'll actually like my book. No. LOVE my book, and want to publish it all over the world, but I'm not ready yet, and I'm cursing that fact. Of course, I shouldn't be blogging, so that I can fix that problem, but, ah, well.)

Oh. I wrote a fragment up there, didn't I? Sorry about that. As I was saying, instead of trying to edit I was trying to come up with loglines. Most were stupid and pathetic, like this:

If you think being stalked is a fantastical dream of floating gossamer strands, try being followed by Obadiah spake-man, and you'll change your mind faster than it takes a potato to rot on a windowsill.


Scotch is a person, not an alcohol, and she does not like being stalked by Spakes, even if she needs on particular Spakes help, and even if without that one particular Spakes help, her two best friends will surely died a horrible, horrible DEATH!


Scotch and Obadiah are not in love, you freaks! ( <-- Scotch wrote that one herself. Or at least, she would've if she was real.)


Once upon a time there was a Spake, then Scotch came along, and the world ended. (Not only is this one awful, it's a lie)


Forget about peanut butter, Scotch and Obadiah end up in situations much stickier, and much less yummilicious.


Vampires are over-rated, and Spakes have never been written about, how many people can I offend in a one sentence, run-on, fragmentary, logline that doesn't make.


(my personal fav, as well as Amarilla's)

Scotch is being stalked (creep!) by a mythologically real creature (a Spake) and she needs to learn to trust him (yeah, right) before her friends are brutally wounded.

They are so much fun! But now I feel bad, because I really need to edit. *sigh* Fine, I'll go be boring. Have loads of fun without me, okay?

*scampers off*

*scampers back*

Here's PIE!

It's Pecan Pie CAKE! :D
*is famished*
*must eat*


Falen (Sarah) said...

my fav is the "scotch is a person, not an alcohol" one

Palindrome said...

mmmm, now I want scotch and pecan pie cake. Thanks!

Joan Crawford said...

Holy crap - is Pecan Pie Cake just two pecan pies stacked on top of each other? It's so simple yet so brilliant and so necessary - like the wheel!

I always said "pee-can" until a mean Grandma was like: "A pee can is in an outhouse!"

I ate two pieces of that evil witch's Outhouse Pie. The spirit was vengeful but the stomach was hungry.

Now I'm all self-conscious about it and say I "Pah-Cahn":

"Oh, please do pass the Pah-Can Pie, Sir. Fillerburtson III, please do!"

ElvishVampireHobbit94 said...

Ha. Haha. This makes me smile. And the one Scotch came up with, I think that was aimed at Stasy. My favorite has to be the peanut butter one. Good luck staying on task!

That sounds amazing. A pecan pie cake. Two amazing things wrapped in one. Yum! (Why didn't I think of that?)

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...


VW: enidlev ummmmmmm

AchingHope said...

@Falen: Looking back at that it reminds me of Star Wars a little bit. "I'm a person, and my name is Scotch!"

@Palindrome: Oh, any time.

@Joan Crawford: Isn't it amazingly brilliant??

Ahahaha... Not I'll never be able to say pee-can without thinking of your grandma.

@ElvishVampireHobbit: Oh, most definitely. Stasy would try to say something like that, wouldn't she?

@Sonshiney: Haha... I love your comments. They're great.