Reminisces for the New Year

Sometimes.

Sometimes life doesn't go quite as you thought it would.

Or quite as you planned.

I had originally planned to go to college near where I lived, graduate as an English major, maybe find a godly man along the way and get married, though that was never a necessity. Hopefully get published and live happily ever after.

This year hasn't exactly followed that plan. There's been a whole lot of... Disruptings going on.

You see, life is kind of like a Choose Your Own Adventure Book.

I wish this were a real book

I would totes read it

(laughingsquid)

All the chapters are there. All of the possibilities. So sometimes you can choose between two pages. Each page will lead you somewhere else, to a different ending, to different beginnings.

1) Instead of going to a college near my home I moved 8 hours away to a completely different state.

2) Instead of being an English major I'm currently a Classics Major, learning about Latin, amphoras, and Roman mosaics (and Italian pastiglias - which are gorgeous but torturous to write about)

3) Instead of being single I ended up in a relationship a little while ago

4) Instead of being friendless like I feared I would be, I ended up with a group of friends I love. We support each other, and encourage each other, and debate with each other. We also watch Disney movies together, which is an absolute must. Disney movies are great things to bond over, I so declare.

5) Instead of doing horrible in my classes like I feared I would, I got good grades and learned to respect different teaching styles. I ended up with wonderful professors that I am proud of to have as my teachers.

6) Instead of only ever being in one relationship like I had hoped, I ended up breaking up with someone. And I was fine. But he wasn't.

7) Instead of losing touch with my friends and family back home, I ended up closer than ever with them. Thanks not only to Skype but Facebook, and cell phones, and all kinds of wonders of technology

8) Instead of living quietly in a dorm, I ended up friends with almost my entire hall. And though my roommate and I didn't work out, the rest of my hall and I did. So. It ended up being okay.

8) Instead of getting published I learned more about the industry, and was able to go to BEA again, and I understand more about the craft, and I'm getting over my fear of failure.

9) Instead of staying with Borders, my favorite job I have ever had, I had to leave and watch the company break down. But I was part of a family of co-workers that I will treasure forever (In fact, a group of us have banded together to start up a blog about books, also something I hadn't expected)

10) Instead of only reading YA and middle grade I learned how to red non-fiction, and learned how to love non-fiction, and I discovered an increasing love for children's picture books

11) Instead of letting life happen around me, I'm starting to learn how to wake up and be a part of this magnificent world. To hold onto the relationships that will last. To try things even if it may not work out, and even if I will fail, and even if I may end up looking stupid.

12) Instead of being who I've always been, I'm discovering things about myself I never knew before. Some good, some... Not so much. But at least I understand more about who I am, and who I could possibly be some day.

So instead of starting this New Year with a shrug and a desperate need for sleep, I hope to start this New Year on a new page of my Choose My Own Adventure, with a blank page, and a ready pen in my hand. Prepared for the fact that I don't know where the pages will take me, but confident that the God I believe in, trust in, and place hope in, will bring me to a new chapter that will defy my expectations. And some of that will be good, and some not so much, but that's okay. Because I have awesome friends, and because I have an awesome family, and because I really love the taste of ravioli. And even if random parts of the South do not have round ravioli, they still have square ones, so life will be okay in the end. Because of ravioli. ;)

Mmmmm...

Have a good New Year's my lamnams. I pray your last year had it's beautiful moments that you will be able to cherish forever. And I hope you had moments to laugh, because I know I did (Corrugated sighs! <-- Don't ask)

The Seduction of a Wall

Vale. (<-- Latin for farewell. Not like an English vale)

This:

Not This:

Happy New Year!! :)

When My Life is Like a Creme Puff

My friend and I are writing a book together. We write letters back and forth from the perspective's of our characters. We got the idea from Sorcery and Cecelia. It is probably the most emotionally draining thing I have ever experienced (because my life is basically a slightly sour creme puff. Nothing really terrible has ever happened to me, which is why, I suppose, I write such depressing stories?) My friend, Emdy, just sent me the next installment to our little story and I was terrified of opening the e-mail. (I know, such a wimp, aren't I?) I didn't know what I would find in there. Anyone could have died, any terrible thing could have happened. I've already killed off a record reaching amount of people. (I mean, I killed off an entire city in one swipe.) Plus, I had an idea about what would happen next in my story, and anything she said could ruin that, so I was also being a little bit selfish with my plot point.

Heaving in a breath, I opened the e-mail, copy and pasted it into Word, and read. Oh. My. Bananas. It is crazy. You see, we do not tell each other anything about the plot. It is all suspense and surprise. It's just a little bit maddening. There is definitely a little adrenaline rush when I see that the next installment is in my inbox. There's this feeling in my stomach of excitement, and dread, and it is fantastic. We are probably almost a third of the way through, and I'm trying to figure out how everything is going to work out. I only have so many more people that I can kill of ;)

Awards Make Me No Longer Depressed

I am having issues writing the sequel to Blackburn's Prisoner (which I think I have decided to call Thanet's Curse). The problem is a) I got waaay behind in word count, 2) I don't care about the characters or the situation they're in (I seriously am trying to figure out what happened to the people and story of Blackburn's Prisoner that I loved so much.) This may not seem like a huge problem, so what if I FAIL entirely? Well, the problem is I am planning on querying an agent for Blackburn's Prisoner, and if I can't write this stupid sequel, that will be a big problem if I ever sell the first one. For some reason publishers want an author to be able to write a sequel if the first book ends in a major cliff-hanger. *Shrugs*

A cliff hanging Robot! My story is not as cool as that.

And I really don't want this book to hang-over into March, because I was planning on writing something else, something that I am really excited about. Usually, this would not bother me, since I'm a pantser I just go with the flow and write whatever I am excited about. This does not finish novels. This leaves me with a ton of beginnings (many of which I love), but not a lot of middles, and even fewer ends. (<-- Except for this one story where I have only been able to write the ending scene. What is up with that?) I do not want Thanet's Curse to end up wallowing in the mud somewhere without me. I want to finish it. I must! I must! (Oh, another issue I'm having with it: it is sounding way too much like another story I wrote. No. That is so not allowed.)

Wow.. There is a whole book description of this over HERE. Bizarre.

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I just got home from work and went back on blogger to finish up this post, but before I did I ran over to Musings of a Palindrome, because I thought I was following her already, but I wasn't, so after I finished gasping in astonishment I clicked on the follow button. Then I read her post. And nearly died.

I didn't even know she knew I existed!! Well... Not enough to give me an award. I nearly cried my eyes out.

Seriously. This came up under "cry my eyes out."

Someone out there understands the evils of high heels. I applaud them.

But the Award specified Slumpvis Musings, so I will post more fully about it over there, even though I have something in dire need of posting over there. Gah. Too many, many things.