While I was in LaLa Land

So.... For lack of better things to post about I will explain the past two months of my life in Bullet Points! Yay!

- July - Go to Polaris and despite the alarms blaring in the middle of the night have an epically good time

-July - Come back from Polaris and find out Borders, where I have tried to work for years, is closing.

-July - Customers begin to lose all courtesy and repeatedly infringe on my space bubble

-August - Have a physical done for school

-August - Two customers poke me in the back. I nearly kill them

-August - Find out I might have something wrong with my thyroid

August - Get denied for a Student Loan

August - Get a denial for my query

August - Might not be able to go to school

August - Drama unfolds in my personal life like an origami swan

August - My dad co-signs and I can go to college!

August - My thyroid is fine! As far as I know.

August - Pat my friends on the head and tell them to get along

August - Leave Borders and cry on the way home

August - Almost crash twice

August - Make it home safely

August - Pack like a banshee

August - Move to VA

August - Leave phone charger at friend's house so I cannot call anyone

August - Go through the rigors of Orientation

August - Write this blog post

September - First day of classes

So. Yes. That was my past two months. How were yours???

A Not-So Happy Ending: Killing Off Main Characters

I'm working on a novel for Camp NaNoWriMo. It is an idea I've had for a long time. It's about a Princess who gets tired of waiting for her Prince to rescue her. It's about how her story is all wrong and is not going the way it's supposed to. It's about her journey to try and figure out what is wrong with her. It's about her running from a terrible choice she made. She is a Princess and is not sure exactly what that means anymore.

Woe is me! I know not what being a Princess means!

Now, some of you may be aware: I kill characters.

CrazyPants!

There are few stories where I don't kill off someone. In fact, I want to write a story where I keep killing off the narrator. But generally I don't have terrible endings. I believe in hope. I believe in happy endings. Maybe bittersweet endings. But I don't believe in Romeo and Juliet endings.

I'm sorry... But I find their story so pathetic :(

This story I'm working on could have two possible endings. There is the bittersweet ending or there is the Romeo and Juliet ending. And you know what? I really, really want to go with the terrible, terrible, kill off the main character ending.

I told my mom this and she said, "That would be a bold choice." I know that bold can just be a synonym for suicidal, so I was curious.

What do you think of terribly sad endings? How do you feel about writers killing off the main character at the end? I mean, it's not an easy choice. This is the character you've made your reader character about. This is the person they've cheered for, cried for, cared for. Killing them off? Such an action can kill writer's and their careers.

Thus I came here, curious about what you guys think about killing characters. Should only minor characters die, or would you be okay with a main character being killed off at the end??

I May Fall Asleep Half-Way Through This...

So. Yes. The liquidation process has begun at Borders and now we get to come in at 6 o'clock in the morning! Yay! Not. Really. You see, I do not normally function until 9 in the morning. That means my poor co-workers have to be around me for three hours while I stare blankly and refuse to speak with them. And then I work for 8-9 hours. By then I am sleep deprived and loopy. Yesterday I started throwing gift cards at one of my co-workers but instead of being mad he just asked if I could kill him so he didn't have to be on register anymore. Yeah. It's been a bit hard.

He should get this shirt. As long as he is merely

being metaphorical. I don't want him to really

die because he is tall and cool.

BUT. I get along with everyone I work with so we manage to keep each other afloat which is dreadfully needed. And so, I'll take advantage of these end times and post about my highlights.

1) After I'm done with every customer I shout out "I can help the next customer." but the one time I shouted "Have a Good Day!" instead. E, who was standing next to me, bent over in half she was laughing so hard.

Only she has red hair. And is a girl.

2) It is 3pm. I am supposed to be leaving. I wait for back up and am helping this lady. Her total is $15.57. She hands me a twenty and says, "I have the change so you can ring it up."

Uh. Yeah. No. I've had customers try this before. After I open the drawer they suddenly don't have the change and I have to try to figure out their change. I don't have math skills of any kind. So I say, "That's okay. I'll just wait."

She: "But why not? I have the change. It will save time." (she continues to dig in her purse for change and I try not to point out that she is actually wasting time by talking to me instead of just finding her change and moving on.)

Me: "It won't make a big difference so I'll just wait."

She: (pausing) "Why not?"

Me: (not really caring anymore) "Because I'm weird."

She: (stares) "Excuse me?"

Me: "I'm weird."

She: "Why are you weird?"

Me: "I have to do things in a specific way. Just let me do it."

Finally she hands me the change and I give her a five and she walks away clearly very confused.

this was her brain

OH. MY. GOODPOTATOES. People. Just let me be a cashier. You can be a customer. Don't tell me how to do my job. I've been a cashier for a few years now. I know what I'm doing. Just move on.

3) After the crazy change lady leaves I deal with an uber slow person who is so slow it makes my skin feel like it is burning (or maybe I feel that way since there is no air conditioning and it is close to 90 degrees up by the registers. So much fun!) but once the uber slow lady is gone I run away and grab my bag from the back. I also grab a marshmallow rice thing because it is filled with sugar.

love it!

Then I have to get a bag check so that the managers know we aren't stealing things. As my manager, JP, checks my bag a group of teens come in.

1st Teen: "I wonder if the chairs are for sale?"

Me: (in a singsong voice) "Yes, but not for you."

2nd Teen: "Uh. Okay then."

Me: (extremely embarrassed and calling after them) "I'm sorry! I've been awake since five! I'm really tired and I'm leaving."

I run out of the store as fast as I can while JP turns around and covers her face with her hands as she tries to muffle her laughter.

Yeah. This whole liquidation thing is going to be so much fun on my brain.

Have fun my peeps! I'm going to go spend the entire day doing absolutely nothing. it is going to be EPICally fun.

And Sometimes Life Isn't As Cool

As most of you probably know, Borders is dying. They call it - in official terms - liquidating. It is sadness.

Awwww... :(

It's not as bad for me because I'm leaving for school in the fall (more on that later) but I know in December I'm going to come back and it's going to hit me like a brick falling out of a speeding dumpster.

I'll probably cry. Just a little bit.

I'm kinda' hoping Barnes & Nobles will put in a bookstore after we leave. There are not many bookstores in our area. The closest one is close to forty-five minutes away from me. Not cool.

Annnnnnnd... You learn that there are two kinds of people in the world.

1) The kind that are sad for you, and wish you luck. They thank you for always helping you and make you love life. They share with you the books they love and encourage you to expand your interests and learn more, even if you end up losing your job. And it is amazing. And you love people. And you want to give customers hugs, except for the scary men that stare at you through windows...

And you know that it's going to be okay. Until...

2) The people who call as soon as they find out your closing and want to know what's on sale. The people who ask if they can buy it now and return it later for the sale price. And you say no. And you wonder if they're on drugs. And there is the one customer that snickers at you because you are losing your job. Or they scream at you across the store to ask when you're closing. And you want to hit everyone and scream at them and you wonder what on earth people are thinking. Maybe they all starting sniffing glue and just aren't in their right minds.

CRAZIEST THING IN THE WORLD

(according to Google)

This is what my customers were like, apparently.

But life will go on and God will provide and we'll find our way from here. So we just have to remember to hold onto the number one customers and disregard the others. (And here I would normally say, Shas La Na, but as it is in a language that does not exist I will instead just run away and leave now.)

Polaris!!!

So Rebecca - my lovely sis - and I went to Polaris. If you do not know what this means shame on you. Polaris involves Canadians and is a Sci-Fi Convention of awesomeness. And what could be better than a Canadian-infested Sci-Fi Convention? Well, other than pot pies, I just don't know.

Mmmmmm... Deliciousness.

Also on a completely random note, for some reason my google searches are all coming up in Czech. I'm sure you wanted to know that.

SO... We left early Thursday and Rebecca's car decided, air conditioning? Who needs air conditioning? And so it was a bit more warm... meaning super hot... then we really wished for it to be. But ah well. Ces le vie, or whatever. (Canadians speak French, and I think that's a butchered French phrase. We're being multi-cultural today.) We made it to Canada and passed through Vineland and I got excited about the Icelanders and Rebecca rolled her eyes at me. Then we made it to Toronto! And it was so greeeeeeen! And I have no pictures because they are on Rebecca's camera. So imagine something that combines trees and cities. It looked a little bit futuristic I do say.

Then we walked around Toronto and went to amazing libraries and found out that I really am a fascinating idiot sometimes. I brought three pairs of shoes. They were all high-heels. One should not walk around cities in high heels. I blame it entirely on one of my characters who is obsessed with high heels. Anyway. My feet didn't hurt too badly, fortunately, but still. Next year I will bring appropriate footwear.

Then came three days of amazing conventionness and Hopefully if I am not being a lazy bum I will post more because it was pretty amazing. And I was in the same building as Ben Browder (I waved in his general direction in honor of a few of my friends who love Farscape) and I got to see Jewel Staite (she is Adorable) and so much more! I am totes going next year, even if I am going to be mad poor, but whatever. Polaris is totally worth it. And you should totally come next year and that would be fun times.

And in conclusion, here is a cheesecake, because I am hungry and I'm going to go eat dinner:

Enjoy life, my friends, my dear LamNams, because life can be pretty pumpkins cool sometimes.

THREE is a Number

ONE: OHMYGOODNESS I WENT TO BEA AND IT WAS AMAZING. I will be posting about it Soonish, which you all know means it could be between now and the apocalypse.

TWO: I totes sent out a query letter and am now dying. I'm keeping track in my head: well, it got sent out this day, should arrive this day, could be read any day after this one... And then I start screaming and wondering what on earth I'm doing and trying to prepare myself for what I'm calling "The Inevitable No." I love this agent, so I'm hoping it's a yes... But if this agent is not going to lurve my book, then I want this agent to say no so I can find an agent who will lurve my book, even when I'm going insane and want to hate it. You know?? I know a certain Ms. Ahiers is going through a similar process and I must say: It's nice knowing I'm not alone in my agony. Unless she is not agonified, which would be magnificent as I do not wish anyone to be agonified.

THREE: Actually there is no three. I just like having three points instead of two. Only two points is lame. So now there are three.

A Quick Note

Laters this week I should have a post about Arbor Day, but until then I thought I should let you knows: I started a Spake Blog Here --> In this Secret Link <-- And I have been blogging there regularly. I don't know why, but I have ideas spilling out of my head and I just know I could blog until the wombats and alpacas come home with the cows... (So, if you see someone named Spakedom commented on your blog it's just me under a Secret Guise trying to confused the population of bloggers)

BUT over here I feel like I am floundering just the tiniest of bits. I was talking to a customer at work today and he mentioned that he was looking into self publishing and we started talking and along the way I mentioned I had a blog. He said, "Oh, what's it about?" And I kinda' gaped at him like a fish. Like this fish:

*goes to find picture of gaping fish*

*is disgusted and runs away*

Ugh. *shudders* I forgot that I am Utterly Detested of fish. Grossgrossgrossgrossgross....

You know what. Forget the gaping picture of mouths. I HATE mouths. I have just decided.

ANYWAYS...

So I thought to myself, "I don't know what it's about? Is that okay?"

And I wondered to myself: "Does it bother you?" I mean. It's all well in good to write for oneself, but if I were to write only for myself I would be writing in a journal. In a book. That you did not see. Cause that's the thing with a blog. A part of it is for me, sure, but it's also for You guys. Are you annoyed that there's no structure this way? That I come and go and wander around and dance into the fog while you're still boarded up inside? Or that I board myself up at home while you're dancing in the square?

So I suppose, if you want my Solid Responsible Consistent part of me you can visit Spakedom. If you want my Spastic Colon, Wombat Squealing, Hyper-Active Mocha-Coffee part of me you can visit me over here. Sometimes I think there is too much of me to stay in one place. Which is why I'm always accidentally sprinkling bits and pieces of me into my characters.

Maybe that's what all authors do. They have so much inside of them that they can't keep it all to themselves and they just end up spilling it out into words. Or artists do it through pictures. Or musicians through music.

It is said that creative people tend to have more connections between their different brain parts. Maybe we simply don't know what to do with all those connections. So we throw up our souls onto slips of paper and parade them around in the hopes that someone else can make sense of them. But in a good way. In a way where we're most happiest, most at peace, when we're writing, since that's what we were created to do at birth, what with our messed up brains. And stuff.

I think that makes sense. Either that or my one character, Philosophical Solomon, is just messing with my brain again.