Reminisces for the New Year

Sometimes.

Sometimes life doesn't go quite as you thought it would.

Or quite as you planned.

I had originally planned to go to college near where I lived, graduate as an English major, maybe find a godly man along the way and get married, though that was never a necessity. Hopefully get published and live happily ever after.

This year hasn't exactly followed that plan. There's been a whole lot of... Disruptings going on.

You see, life is kind of like a Choose Your Own Adventure Book.

I wish this were a real book

I would totes read it

(laughingsquid)

All the chapters are there. All of the possibilities. So sometimes you can choose between two pages. Each page will lead you somewhere else, to a different ending, to different beginnings.

1) Instead of going to a college near my home I moved 8 hours away to a completely different state.

2) Instead of being an English major I'm currently a Classics Major, learning about Latin, amphoras, and Roman mosaics (and Italian pastiglias - which are gorgeous but torturous to write about)

3) Instead of being single I ended up in a relationship a little while ago

4) Instead of being friendless like I feared I would be, I ended up with a group of friends I love. We support each other, and encourage each other, and debate with each other. We also watch Disney movies together, which is an absolute must. Disney movies are great things to bond over, I so declare.

5) Instead of doing horrible in my classes like I feared I would, I got good grades and learned to respect different teaching styles. I ended up with wonderful professors that I am proud of to have as my teachers.

6) Instead of only ever being in one relationship like I had hoped, I ended up breaking up with someone. And I was fine. But he wasn't.

7) Instead of losing touch with my friends and family back home, I ended up closer than ever with them. Thanks not only to Skype but Facebook, and cell phones, and all kinds of wonders of technology

8) Instead of living quietly in a dorm, I ended up friends with almost my entire hall. And though my roommate and I didn't work out, the rest of my hall and I did. So. It ended up being okay.

8) Instead of getting published I learned more about the industry, and was able to go to BEA again, and I understand more about the craft, and I'm getting over my fear of failure.

9) Instead of staying with Borders, my favorite job I have ever had, I had to leave and watch the company break down. But I was part of a family of co-workers that I will treasure forever (In fact, a group of us have banded together to start up a blog about books, also something I hadn't expected)

10) Instead of only reading YA and middle grade I learned how to red non-fiction, and learned how to love non-fiction, and I discovered an increasing love for children's picture books

11) Instead of letting life happen around me, I'm starting to learn how to wake up and be a part of this magnificent world. To hold onto the relationships that will last. To try things even if it may not work out, and even if I will fail, and even if I may end up looking stupid.

12) Instead of being who I've always been, I'm discovering things about myself I never knew before. Some good, some... Not so much. But at least I understand more about who I am, and who I could possibly be some day.

So instead of starting this New Year with a shrug and a desperate need for sleep, I hope to start this New Year on a new page of my Choose My Own Adventure, with a blank page, and a ready pen in my hand. Prepared for the fact that I don't know where the pages will take me, but confident that the God I believe in, trust in, and place hope in, will bring me to a new chapter that will defy my expectations. And some of that will be good, and some not so much, but that's okay. Because I have awesome friends, and because I have an awesome family, and because I really love the taste of ravioli. And even if random parts of the South do not have round ravioli, they still have square ones, so life will be okay in the end. Because of ravioli. ;)

Mmmmm...

Have a good New Year's my lamnams. I pray your last year had it's beautiful moments that you will be able to cherish forever. And I hope you had moments to laugh, because I know I did (Corrugated sighs! <-- Don't ask)

The Seduction of a Wall

Vale. (<-- Latin for farewell. Not like an English vale)

This:

Not This:

Happy New Year!! :)

The Threads and Bubbles of Reality

As a writer of fantasy I believe in the possibility of multiple realities. And because I have an insane imagination sometimes it seriously feels like a reality threaded next to this one is getting really close - like having two bubbles come up side by side, and either they will merge or pop - and it makes me wonder...

What would that be like? How would that affect us? Would it even affect us at all?

Say our bubble of reality sidles up alongside another bubble of reality:

Would it cause the bubble to pop?

Or would it cause the bubble to become just a smaller add on to our bubble world:


If our bubble of reality pops a next door neighbor bubble, what happens to that reality? Does it no longer exist? Does it pop up and exist elsewhere? What if it gets downsized and become nothing but an add on bubble, like in the above picture? Will reality just become a fragment of what it was, like a shard of glass that used to be part of a larger whole, but is now just a piece of its formal self?


Can you imagine if our choices affected the movement of our bubble of reality? That would be crazy. Unlikely, probably not true at all, but it is interesting to think about. Most of my stories concern reality and its duplicates, or the bending of reality, or the fluidity of reality, at least in some manner.

What about you? Do you think about reality? Do you think reality is just one bubble out of many, or do you think of reality more like a cinder block, solid and unmoving and singular?

Save the Kilowatts!

I have a pet peeve. He is cute and purple and his name is Steve. He looks like this:

Steve is a kind and caring peeve. He is adorable and I am very sad when people upset him. You see, Steve is very concious of kilowatts. It's not his fault. He self-actualized because of something I learned from my father.

You see, I grew up with a wonderful father who has the same kind of imagination I do. Only... I beat him in the insane department. But anyway. When either I or one of my siblings left lights on unnecessarily in the house my dad would cry:
And so forth. I would look up into the flourescent light and it hurt my eyes, so I stopped and looked down at the non-flourescent tile floor instead, and imagined the light in my head. Then I would imagine the microscopic insides of a lightbulb:
I thought killowatts were like blue shining amoebas. I'm pretty sure that is not the case, sadly, but whatever. I don't have to be defined by reality. And that's not the point. The point is Steve Peeve is disstressed when people go around killing them all of the time. That's actually one of the things I like about the college I am attending. They have little signs at all the lights reminding people to turn them off when they are not being used. And it makes Steve Peeve happy. And he dances. And has a party. And drinks glasses of sparkling water through an orange straw, because Steve Peeve is just that cool. So think of Steve. Don't kill the killowatts. Have a party with sparkling water and epic orange straws instead, because that is much more awesome.

Other Writers

I love, love, love meeting other writers. Whether it's online, or in "real" life, or whatever. It's fantastic. I have moved down to VA and am attending a college here. Most of my friends I have met write. The one creates worlds and languages like I do, and it's been such a joy to talk about each other's worlds. I don't know. There's just something magical about it. And my other friend is still figuring out how to write, so in the meantime she's drawing pictures of her characters and it's fantastic to listen to the ideas that will one day find their way onto paper.

And to think I was nervous about moving away from home. Sometimes I forget about the magic that exists in the writing and Geek world. It doesn't matter who you are, what you do, what you like, what you don't like, as soon as you find a fellow writer or Geek there is an instant connection, an instant bond of friendship. It's so much fun.

And it makes world building so much easier. I love writing stuff with others. There's something about the interaction that just works for me. And when I'm not writing with someone I have found it is super useful to bounce my ideas off of someone else. I have been stuck on my Haunbrinth series, just not sure where to take it. I've been unable to write anything because I haven't known the end of the series, and I have to know what the end is, what the goal is, before I can go forward.

Today I was talking with this one fellow that I met who writes. I am basing a character off of him because I like to do that (I always get permission first, of course) me. I came back to my dorm to write out a basic outline based on this new character and suddenly it all made sense to me. I know the entire arch. I know why the beginning starts the way it does. I was having issues with the beginning and now I know why.

This is why the writer community is so important to me. It's so important to have fellow writers that you can talk with. Not only to get ideas, or to get through pot tangles, but to get encouragement and to stay excited. NaNoWriMo begins in a couple of weeks and now I feel much more confident.

So thank you to writers and Geeks everywhere. You make my life beautiful.

Life = Interesting

There is something I have come to realize about life. Life doesn't really make sense most of the time. For example, some girls go to college with this mindset:

And instead of finding even one boy, they end up finding a whole lot of homework and wonderful friends instead.

Then you have other people, who are more like this:

And they are the ones who end up meeting someone before classes even officially start.

And this can sometimes seem unfair. But I think it all works out. Because those who were just looking for boys end up finding themselves. Or really good friends. Or they learn how to make pottery and they become beautiful cat people who find beautiful cat men later in life.

And the one who was against boyfriends ends up learning more about who they are, and that it's okay to trust people.
So in the end, I think life works itself out. Maybe not all of the time, but I think it happens a lot more often than we realize.

While I was in LaLa Land

So.... For lack of better things to post about I will explain the past two months of my life in Bullet Points! Yay!

- July - Go to Polaris and despite the alarms blaring in the middle of the night have an epically good time

-July - Come back from Polaris and find out Borders, where I have tried to work for years, is closing.

-July - Customers begin to lose all courtesy and repeatedly infringe on my space bubble

-August - Have a physical done for school

-August - Two customers poke me in the back. I nearly kill them

-August - Find out I might have something wrong with my thyroid

August - Get denied for a Student Loan

August - Get a denial for my query

August - Might not be able to go to school

August - Drama unfolds in my personal life like an origami swan

August - My dad co-signs and I can go to college!

August - My thyroid is fine! As far as I know.

August - Pat my friends on the head and tell them to get along

August - Leave Borders and cry on the way home

August - Almost crash twice

August - Make it home safely

August - Pack like a banshee

August - Move to VA

August - Leave phone charger at friend's house so I cannot call anyone

August - Go through the rigors of Orientation

August - Write this blog post

September - First day of classes

So. Yes. That was my past two months. How were yours???

A Not-So Happy Ending: Killing Off Main Characters

I'm working on a novel for Camp NaNoWriMo. It is an idea I've had for a long time. It's about a Princess who gets tired of waiting for her Prince to rescue her. It's about how her story is all wrong and is not going the way it's supposed to. It's about her journey to try and figure out what is wrong with her. It's about her running from a terrible choice she made. She is a Princess and is not sure exactly what that means anymore.

Woe is me! I know not what being a Princess means!

Now, some of you may be aware: I kill characters.

CrazyPants!

There are few stories where I don't kill off someone. In fact, I want to write a story where I keep killing off the narrator. But generally I don't have terrible endings. I believe in hope. I believe in happy endings. Maybe bittersweet endings. But I don't believe in Romeo and Juliet endings.

I'm sorry... But I find their story so pathetic :(

This story I'm working on could have two possible endings. There is the bittersweet ending or there is the Romeo and Juliet ending. And you know what? I really, really want to go with the terrible, terrible, kill off the main character ending.

I told my mom this and she said, "That would be a bold choice." I know that bold can just be a synonym for suicidal, so I was curious.

What do you think of terribly sad endings? How do you feel about writers killing off the main character at the end? I mean, it's not an easy choice. This is the character you've made your reader character about. This is the person they've cheered for, cried for, cared for. Killing them off? Such an action can kill writer's and their careers.

Thus I came here, curious about what you guys think about killing characters. Should only minor characters die, or would you be okay with a main character being killed off at the end??

I May Fall Asleep Half-Way Through This...

So. Yes. The liquidation process has begun at Borders and now we get to come in at 6 o'clock in the morning! Yay! Not. Really. You see, I do not normally function until 9 in the morning. That means my poor co-workers have to be around me for three hours while I stare blankly and refuse to speak with them. And then I work for 8-9 hours. By then I am sleep deprived and loopy. Yesterday I started throwing gift cards at one of my co-workers but instead of being mad he just asked if I could kill him so he didn't have to be on register anymore. Yeah. It's been a bit hard.

He should get this shirt. As long as he is merely

being metaphorical. I don't want him to really

die because he is tall and cool.

BUT. I get along with everyone I work with so we manage to keep each other afloat which is dreadfully needed. And so, I'll take advantage of these end times and post about my highlights.

1) After I'm done with every customer I shout out "I can help the next customer." but the one time I shouted "Have a Good Day!" instead. E, who was standing next to me, bent over in half she was laughing so hard.

Only she has red hair. And is a girl.

2) It is 3pm. I am supposed to be leaving. I wait for back up and am helping this lady. Her total is $15.57. She hands me a twenty and says, "I have the change so you can ring it up."

Uh. Yeah. No. I've had customers try this before. After I open the drawer they suddenly don't have the change and I have to try to figure out their change. I don't have math skills of any kind. So I say, "That's okay. I'll just wait."

She: "But why not? I have the change. It will save time." (she continues to dig in her purse for change and I try not to point out that she is actually wasting time by talking to me instead of just finding her change and moving on.)

Me: "It won't make a big difference so I'll just wait."

She: (pausing) "Why not?"

Me: (not really caring anymore) "Because I'm weird."

She: (stares) "Excuse me?"

Me: "I'm weird."

She: "Why are you weird?"

Me: "I have to do things in a specific way. Just let me do it."

Finally she hands me the change and I give her a five and she walks away clearly very confused.

this was her brain

OH. MY. GOODPOTATOES. People. Just let me be a cashier. You can be a customer. Don't tell me how to do my job. I've been a cashier for a few years now. I know what I'm doing. Just move on.

3) After the crazy change lady leaves I deal with an uber slow person who is so slow it makes my skin feel like it is burning (or maybe I feel that way since there is no air conditioning and it is close to 90 degrees up by the registers. So much fun!) but once the uber slow lady is gone I run away and grab my bag from the back. I also grab a marshmallow rice thing because it is filled with sugar.

love it!

Then I have to get a bag check so that the managers know we aren't stealing things. As my manager, JP, checks my bag a group of teens come in.

1st Teen: "I wonder if the chairs are for sale?"

Me: (in a singsong voice) "Yes, but not for you."

2nd Teen: "Uh. Okay then."

Me: (extremely embarrassed and calling after them) "I'm sorry! I've been awake since five! I'm really tired and I'm leaving."

I run out of the store as fast as I can while JP turns around and covers her face with her hands as she tries to muffle her laughter.

Yeah. This whole liquidation thing is going to be so much fun on my brain.

Have fun my peeps! I'm going to go spend the entire day doing absolutely nothing. it is going to be EPICally fun.

And Sometimes Life Isn't As Cool

As most of you probably know, Borders is dying. They call it - in official terms - liquidating. It is sadness.

Awwww... :(

It's not as bad for me because I'm leaving for school in the fall (more on that later) but I know in December I'm going to come back and it's going to hit me like a brick falling out of a speeding dumpster.

I'll probably cry. Just a little bit.

I'm kinda' hoping Barnes & Nobles will put in a bookstore after we leave. There are not many bookstores in our area. The closest one is close to forty-five minutes away from me. Not cool.

Annnnnnnd... You learn that there are two kinds of people in the world.

1) The kind that are sad for you, and wish you luck. They thank you for always helping you and make you love life. They share with you the books they love and encourage you to expand your interests and learn more, even if you end up losing your job. And it is amazing. And you love people. And you want to give customers hugs, except for the scary men that stare at you through windows...

And you know that it's going to be okay. Until...

2) The people who call as soon as they find out your closing and want to know what's on sale. The people who ask if they can buy it now and return it later for the sale price. And you say no. And you wonder if they're on drugs. And there is the one customer that snickers at you because you are losing your job. Or they scream at you across the store to ask when you're closing. And you want to hit everyone and scream at them and you wonder what on earth people are thinking. Maybe they all starting sniffing glue and just aren't in their right minds.

CRAZIEST THING IN THE WORLD

(according to Google)

This is what my customers were like, apparently.

But life will go on and God will provide and we'll find our way from here. So we just have to remember to hold onto the number one customers and disregard the others. (And here I would normally say, Shas La Na, but as it is in a language that does not exist I will instead just run away and leave now.)

Polaris!!!

So Rebecca - my lovely sis - and I went to Polaris. If you do not know what this means shame on you. Polaris involves Canadians and is a Sci-Fi Convention of awesomeness. And what could be better than a Canadian-infested Sci-Fi Convention? Well, other than pot pies, I just don't know.

Mmmmmm... Deliciousness.

Also on a completely random note, for some reason my google searches are all coming up in Czech. I'm sure you wanted to know that.

SO... We left early Thursday and Rebecca's car decided, air conditioning? Who needs air conditioning? And so it was a bit more warm... meaning super hot... then we really wished for it to be. But ah well. Ces le vie, or whatever. (Canadians speak French, and I think that's a butchered French phrase. We're being multi-cultural today.) We made it to Canada and passed through Vineland and I got excited about the Icelanders and Rebecca rolled her eyes at me. Then we made it to Toronto! And it was so greeeeeeen! And I have no pictures because they are on Rebecca's camera. So imagine something that combines trees and cities. It looked a little bit futuristic I do say.

Then we walked around Toronto and went to amazing libraries and found out that I really am a fascinating idiot sometimes. I brought three pairs of shoes. They were all high-heels. One should not walk around cities in high heels. I blame it entirely on one of my characters who is obsessed with high heels. Anyway. My feet didn't hurt too badly, fortunately, but still. Next year I will bring appropriate footwear.

Then came three days of amazing conventionness and Hopefully if I am not being a lazy bum I will post more because it was pretty amazing. And I was in the same building as Ben Browder (I waved in his general direction in honor of a few of my friends who love Farscape) and I got to see Jewel Staite (she is Adorable) and so much more! I am totes going next year, even if I am going to be mad poor, but whatever. Polaris is totally worth it. And you should totally come next year and that would be fun times.

And in conclusion, here is a cheesecake, because I am hungry and I'm going to go eat dinner:

Enjoy life, my friends, my dear LamNams, because life can be pretty pumpkins cool sometimes.

THREE is a Number

ONE: OHMYGOODNESS I WENT TO BEA AND IT WAS AMAZING. I will be posting about it Soonish, which you all know means it could be between now and the apocalypse.

TWO: I totes sent out a query letter and am now dying. I'm keeping track in my head: well, it got sent out this day, should arrive this day, could be read any day after this one... And then I start screaming and wondering what on earth I'm doing and trying to prepare myself for what I'm calling "The Inevitable No." I love this agent, so I'm hoping it's a yes... But if this agent is not going to lurve my book, then I want this agent to say no so I can find an agent who will lurve my book, even when I'm going insane and want to hate it. You know?? I know a certain Ms. Ahiers is going through a similar process and I must say: It's nice knowing I'm not alone in my agony. Unless she is not agonified, which would be magnificent as I do not wish anyone to be agonified.

THREE: Actually there is no three. I just like having three points instead of two. Only two points is lame. So now there are three.

A Quick Note

Laters this week I should have a post about Arbor Day, but until then I thought I should let you knows: I started a Spake Blog Here --> In this Secret Link <-- And I have been blogging there regularly. I don't know why, but I have ideas spilling out of my head and I just know I could blog until the wombats and alpacas come home with the cows... (So, if you see someone named Spakedom commented on your blog it's just me under a Secret Guise trying to confused the population of bloggers)

BUT over here I feel like I am floundering just the tiniest of bits. I was talking to a customer at work today and he mentioned that he was looking into self publishing and we started talking and along the way I mentioned I had a blog. He said, "Oh, what's it about?" And I kinda' gaped at him like a fish. Like this fish:

*goes to find picture of gaping fish*

*is disgusted and runs away*

Ugh. *shudders* I forgot that I am Utterly Detested of fish. Grossgrossgrossgrossgross....

You know what. Forget the gaping picture of mouths. I HATE mouths. I have just decided.

ANYWAYS...

So I thought to myself, "I don't know what it's about? Is that okay?"

And I wondered to myself: "Does it bother you?" I mean. It's all well in good to write for oneself, but if I were to write only for myself I would be writing in a journal. In a book. That you did not see. Cause that's the thing with a blog. A part of it is for me, sure, but it's also for You guys. Are you annoyed that there's no structure this way? That I come and go and wander around and dance into the fog while you're still boarded up inside? Or that I board myself up at home while you're dancing in the square?

So I suppose, if you want my Solid Responsible Consistent part of me you can visit Spakedom. If you want my Spastic Colon, Wombat Squealing, Hyper-Active Mocha-Coffee part of me you can visit me over here. Sometimes I think there is too much of me to stay in one place. Which is why I'm always accidentally sprinkling bits and pieces of me into my characters.

Maybe that's what all authors do. They have so much inside of them that they can't keep it all to themselves and they just end up spilling it out into words. Or artists do it through pictures. Or musicians through music.

It is said that creative people tend to have more connections between their different brain parts. Maybe we simply don't know what to do with all those connections. So we throw up our souls onto slips of paper and parade them around in the hopes that someone else can make sense of them. But in a good way. In a way where we're most happiest, most at peace, when we're writing, since that's what we were created to do at birth, what with our messed up brains. And stuff.

I think that makes sense. Either that or my one character, Philosophical Solomon, is just messing with my brain again.

Blogging

(In Honor of the A-Z Challenge going around I'm going to attempt to Alphabetize my posts this month. Yay to all A-Zers!)

I have been blogging for over a year with 114 posts (!) and 96 lovely followers. So I thought it would be fun to take a step back and see where this has brought me and what it has taught me.

But let's take a quick look back at the beginning and see what started it all... Blooooooop.

Ah, LOST. I am a firm believer that it's never the Big Choices that change your life. It's all the little choices before that big choice that changed your life.

Deciding to watch LOST was one of those. I shouldn't have even ended up loving the show. I saw one "Before on LOST" and was so confused. I decided I should Never Ever watch the show.

The same thing happened to my sis. But then she ended up watching it anyway.

I came in during one of the many Run-Through-The-Forest-To-Creepy-Music-And-Hope-You-Don't-Die scenes. I went to bed. And was haunted. I had to watch this show! Well. Then I followed Rebecca's lead and snooped around Nikki's blog. And started a blog.

And then started a second one. And then started a Twitter. And a second Twitter for my Spakes. And then I started a Tumblr. And I made Awesome Friends. And I learned that the world of Publishing is much more Vast than I had imagined and that Writers are way cool people to hang around and that there are lovely Random people out there who are weird like me.

I also learned that unlike these strange Western Thinkers I do not live linearly.

I don't know why, but this is what I think of when

I think of the word 'Linear'

I live in circles. Which is why for a few months I'm heavy on the internet, and then for a few months I'm not, and then for a few months I almost never turn on my computer.

And maybe that's okay. To be circular.

This is Chain Mail. This is what I think of

when I think of being 'Circular'

I have learned so much here in this blog-o-sphere. I have so much support over here. It is extremely Awesome. And I am super excited to get to know more of you, to re-aquaint myself with some of you, and just have a generally good time during this Second Year of my blog.

And here are a few things I learned:

1) I am not disciplined enough to do anything regular on a blog yet. Ha. Except be Regularly Irregularly Random

2) Closing my eyes and setting my hands atop GLOM does not magically transfer Blog info up into my brain. This may be lame, but it's true.

3) Some Blog people have super cool Book Recommendations. Even if it's not something I usually read, I should read it anyway, just to see if I like it.

4) Wombats will one day save the world

5) People can get published. It is happening all of the place in this bloggy world.

6) Um...

7) #otherstuffthatiforgot

I know some other lamnams blog birthdays are coming up or recently passed. (Like Wolfie402's)

Congratulations Everybodies! :D

Age & Nightshade

Recently I read Nightshade by Andrea Cramer. It was pretty good. The mythos was fascinating and not something I had read before. The characters were real and I could relate with them. And I was excited because the language was nice and clean.

However, this book did bring up something that I've noticed in YA books. If I had read this when I was actually a teen I would've been very, Very, VERY uncomfortable. There were at least three scenes that were heavy on the sensual and I had to question myself: Is this appropriate? I mean, the one bathroom scene was so disconcerting. Is this really happening in schools?? And if it is, why is this okay? When did the physical boundaries between guys and girls get chucked out the window?

Now, I understand that in the books situation the girl was preparing to get married and was being treated as an adult and all that. But still. This is not the only book that pushes the physical boundaries. My friend read the Halo books and said there was a scene in them where she was going "Holy Crow! She should not be doing that!"

I also am reminded of one of the panels I sat in on at Polaris where one of the YA authors said their agent was telling them to make their book Sexier. Omgoodness... WHY!? There is a large demographic out there that does NOT want it to be sexier, who are Tired of Sex permeating Everything, especially our used-to-be safe books. And they're pushing it younger and younger. Independent Readers/Middle Grade books are starting to get a little scary when it comes to the relationship aspects to life.

My question is: When did it become okay for teens to have sex with random people before they're married? When did it become okay for authors to TELL teens that this is okay behavior? Yes, yes. I understand that you want a world to be believable. Diana Peterfreund in her Killer Unicorn books has to deal with that temptation because if the girl's aren't virgins they ain't going to be Unicorn Hunters. But I think she does a pretty darn good job of not making it Way Too Awkward for me to read.

At first I thought one of the reasons for the Sultriness was because it seems like a whole lot of Romance novelists are writing for YA now, but that's not fair. Karen Armstrong wrote for YA and her books were very well written and tastefully done when it came to the romance. It was *gasp* Age Appropriate.

So I'm curious what you think? Are Teen books becoming Too Much Sexy? Are you okay with the sexified state of books? Also: On a slightly unrelated note, do you think it would help if a twenty-something age group of books were developed so you could have slightly sexier books without them being for teens?

Random Video Fun

Oh wowsies. I can't believe I haven't posted this thing up yet. For some reason my brain has been everywhere but in bloggy land. I miss you guys. *hugs GLOM* Hopefully that hug transfers through to your computers.

WELL... In case you have yet to hear of it: I am obsessed with Spakes. They are mythologically real creatures and I talk about them pretty much incessantly.

People throw things at me.

It can be bad.

SO in order to attempt to get my Facebook friends to become fans of Spakes on Facebook (which you can totally do here if you happen to have a Facebook page. I keep meaning to make a linky-do-da but I am lame and so have not done that.) I made this video, and I thought I would share it with you, if I can get it to load. It takes a day to load to youtube, so I haven't done that yet (I now hate youtube). We'll see if this works...

Woah! I think that worked :D So exciting. Anywaydles... Hope you enjoy. I'm going to try and pop around tomorrow, unless I have to do an emergency stand-in for my sister at work. Her thumb's still a bit of an owie. Have fun! :D

And Then the World Exploded...

My friend 'Rosie' and I write stories together.

It is because of her that Spakes exist and I have a series of novels based on mythologically real creatures.

ALSO... We and another friend 'Stasi' are writing a book together about Elves, and Fairies, and Pixies.

ALSO... Rosie and I are writing a story about Twins.

AND... The more we spend time together the more we realize we have REALLY WEIRD connections between our stories.

Like... My character being the mother of one of her characters.

Like... Her character being the daughter of one of my mythological creatures.

Like... The fact that our stories are becoming more and more complex and connected.

There is a part of my brain that says YOU CAN'T DO THAT because - normally - authors aren't allowed to write worlds together with a second author while still keeping both authors autonomous. BUT... Then there is another part of my brain, the rebellious part, that says I can do whatever I want as long as I write stories that other people (preferably LOTS of people because that would be totes cool) will want to read.

Do you want to be CONFUSED? I will attempt to draw a diagram...

YOU SEE... There is a reality sideways from ours and there are three worlds, Earth (also known as Jezkana), Gorsonian, and Galsha (which is Rosie's and I'm probably spelling it wrong). They look like this:

The Universe is Purple...

And They are all connected in a way that is hard to explain. It looks like this:

Underneath all of these worlds is a second world known as the Land of Faerie.

Think of it as like a parfait, with layers of worlds that go beyond space and time...

And connected to Faerie are three sub-worlds, home of Fairies, Pixies, and Elves...

There is one more thing you should know: Connected to the earth (as well as the other worlds) are hundreds of thousands of realities spreading out like a fan or like ripples in a pond...

The Spake reality is the closest one.

Not that it matters a whole lot...

And if ANY thread of reality should malfunction or get torn apart, because everything is connected, it will all circle out and destroy stinking EVERYTHING...

And that just makes my brain HURT. ALSO... It gives me an Insane number of ideas and makes me want to make giant posters to try and understand it better. Woo. So hard.

NOW... Hopefully I haven't CONFUSED YOU ENTIRELY. But I probably have. ALSO... Hopefully I haven't given too much away. BUT... I trust you guys and needed to tell SOMEONE. And you guys are someones.

SO.... Have you ever had a story idea EXPLODE and give you more story info then you really thought you needed to know?

Whoops... I Was Supposed to Blog About This Months Ago

SOOOOOO... Something exciting happened to me last... November? I think it was. You see, I was at a birthday party talking to a friend when she asked if I could come and talk about Publishing at her Book Club.

I said something along the lines of: "Omgoodness... YES!" And looked something like this:

Only... I look a bit less Asian, because I am not really of that lovely ethnicity.

ANYWAY... So my friend said to bring the first chapter of the book I was telling her about (WhiteWashed) so I did. I showed up at her school and walked in to the Visitor booth thing and...

No one knew what I was talking about. What book club? What person are you talking about? We have no library? (Okay, that last one is a lie...)

AND I WAS FREAKING MY FACE OFF... Very quietly inside. Like a possum.

Possum!

But finally I was able to get where I needed to go and I answered some questions about publishing and writing and stuff and then I got to read the first bit of the first chapter of my book.

And...

It was insane. Because although some people obviously didn't care and were just like, whatever, it's some weird chick in an ugly shirt reading some boring story... BUT... There were others that were leaning forward and were listening and omgoodness... they LAUGHED at my jokes and actually thought I could be humorous. AND, some even looked disappointed when I stopped. It was crazy. The feeling was like DRUGS only worse and better and FREE and not illegal.

And I knew without a doubt that I want to do this FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

And then, apparently, I will grow wings and become a bug.

BUT... I will be reading my stories to people who actually Like them and that is SO exciting it makes me want to go query RIGHT NOW.

Contest and Wombat!

So the lovely Mia Hayson is having a contest and because I am Obsessed with Wombats (they are So Cute!) I decided to do something different to help spread the word about her contest...

WOMBAT!

I wrote on the back of a Wombat. In case you can't read it, it says to Enter Mia's Contest.

Yes. I have been sleep deprived lately, why do you ask?

An Old Love of My Life

I was eight years old. I had recently written my Brave Girl Series (very lame, trust me) and I came across a picture I had drawn. (Thanks to this picture -->)

Inspiration struck (not unlike a hammer) and I started writing a story about two islands, a heroic girl, and one evil man.

Then I stopped. Probably had something to do with the fact that I moved from Virginia up to New York. Stories got boxed up and I moved on. Worked on Brave Girl Series again. Then there was the Underground (with plot inconsistencies that would take your breath away).

Later, when I was about seventeen and had recently finished the Novel of Magnitude (which needs more editing than a raw piece of chicken) I started typing again at that old story. Slashed the beginning. Expanded a scene. Added intrigue and mystery.

Then I hit a massive black wall. You see, I don't have Writer's Block. Sometimes there are pebbles or very small rocks. Sometimes there are caverns I cannot get to the back of, or canyons I cannot jump over quite yet. But this was a giant black wall that I could not climb. Having learned something about the writing process since I was eight I knew what I had to do. I set the story aside.

I even moved the story from my Serious Folder (the books I know I will finish) on my computer to my Idea folder. It felt like giving up, but I knew that one day - - One Day - - I would finish it.

Then a few days ago at dinner I finished eating my taco (so unrelated to my story. They don't have tacos in that world. They don't even have cows.) and quickly descended into Zombie Mode. I went downstairs and had to search desperately until I found it, buried within file folders (I have an obsession with file folders). I opened it up and read some to figure out where I was and I wrote, and I wrote.

The black wall was gone.

There is re-writing to be done. The Protagonist will probably have to be made younger, as it's more of a middle grade story than a young adult one (though it has some content, like people dying, that makes me uncertain). The beginning needs more work than a hurricaned beach house. My one character (Zing) desperately needs a new name. My eight year old self thought Zing was a great name, but my twenty-one year old self is not impressed.

I hope to finish at least the first draft of the story this year. I've been wanting to write a middle grade novel, and after reading a few dozen this past year I feel more confident in my ability.

It is so strangely peaceful to finally work on this book again. I have been waiting years and I cannot wait to see how it will finish out.

How 'bout you? Ever Re-Fallen in Love with a Story Idea? Ever had to take a break from a story, even if you Absolutely Loved it?

Books I Read in 2010 Part 2

Here is the continuing tale of the books I read in 2010. If you missed it Here is the link to my first post. Enjoy!

Most Decidedly Definitely not a book I would normally pick up and read, because it was a little more feminist then I tend to lean. However, I saw it in the library and decided to give it a go. Very interesting stuff. I love reading about fairy tales and folklore, and this was a fascinating read that showed me some ideas that while I might not agree, it's nice now to know what people are talking about.

Why I Picked This Book: Another non-fiction book that I could actually finish. Also, another book that I read despite thinking I wouldn't like it. And I did. I learned a lot this past year that you can't judge a book by its cover, title, or possible content. Well, sometimes you can. But sometimes you can't. So sometimes you need to just give a book a chance and see what catagory it truly fits in.

I read this along with Sophocles threesome. I love Greek playwrights and historians and essayists. I have no idea why. But either way, I loved Aristophanes. Though the one play was highly inappropriate and might skip upon re-reading this: Aristophanes is hilarious.

Why I Picked This Book: Because most people do not count Aristophanes as one of their favorite writers. I think more people should.

Oh. My Goodness. I loved this book. I consider it Snikette-esque (a category in books that I use quite often, though I'm not sure if others do). I laughed aloud time and again.

Why I Chose This Book: I had never heard of J.T. Petty until I was in The Strand in the City with my friend Rose and she laughed. The book was The Hobgobline Proxy and the said, "Look! Hobgoblins!" because a few nights before my mum made a hobgoblin face and we started calling her that (with all the love in the world, I assure you). I read the entire book and then forgot about it. Months later I remembered I had read some book with hobgoblins and amazoned it. Fortunately, there are not a lot of books with the word hobgoblin in it and I was able to find it. And then I read pretty much everything he wrote. He's a funny guy and this may sound strange, but I liked seeing him grow as a writer. His first book, Clemency Pogue Fairy Killer was not as good as Scrivener Bees. Sometimes I read an author and there first book is insanely good, and then the next one doesn't quite match up. As a writer I hope that each book will be better than the last (well, or at least close to). This was strangely encouraging for me to see in real life.

My Fair Godmother by Janette Rallison, Dear Anjali by Melissa Glenn Haber, Swan Maiden by Heather Tomlinson, and all of RL LaFevers books were another group I found through agent hunting. I loved them all in so many different ways. They were all wonderfully told stories, though told in significantly different ways.

Why I Chose Them: Again, by searching agents I found some incredible stories. Once I find an agent I will probably still research them in order to find groups of really good books.

I love Lane Smith. His artwork is so fantastic. I just love looking at his artwork. These two, though not written by him, were probably two of my favorite that were illustrated by

him. He helps write a blog about inappropriate books that's pretty interesting. Feel free to check it out Here. That's where I heard about It's a Book. So good, but yes, it is slightly inappropriate.

This book was one of those books that you read at just the right time in just the right moment. I was laughing my face off the entire time, but when my sister read it she found it just a tad too weird. So if you're a fan of weird: go ahead and read it. If you're not the biggest fan of weird: you can feel free to skip this one.

Why I Chose It: This was another one of those books I hadn't seen around anywhere and want more people to hear about it. Thus I have succeeded.

This book I read because of Blam's post over here: Braids of Glory.

Why I Chose This Book: I love books that introduce me, or draw me into, another culture. Although I was already aware of some Jewish sayings and bits of their culture (as my church has held a Passover meal two years in a row... Or the Seder meal? I'm not remembering exactly), it was fun to read something set in Jewish culture so I could learn a bit more and get more of a taste for their culture. Plus, the story is simply fantastic. A strong heroine, evil beasts, and knitting. What could be better?

Well, that's about all for this year. Eventually I will touch on a couple of the other books I read this year that include discussions that will take up more room and time. Thank you for reading! :) Feel free to let me know about any books you've read this past year!