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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Journaling and Diary Entries

Nathan Bransford is having a contest where one must write a journal entry from the perspective of a teen. (Honestly, I have no idea how he's going to wade through everything and choose a winner. I know who I'd choose, but I can't find the entry now. The story was written from the perspective of a kid who has cancer, and he makes these paper airplanes, each one written with something he'll never be able to do, and the imagery was so startling, and haunting, and I went to bed last night and couldn't stop thinking about it, and now I can't even find his name (or her name) and tell them how amazing they are. Grr!)

Anyway, so I was reading over some and I love people, but some are just ridiculous. I mean, I know a whole lot of teens worry about getting pregnant, or getting over a stupid boyfriend/girlfriend. But so many of them all sound the same. Ergh. It makes me want to find some of these people and smack them upside the head for not being creative. But then I remember this is rude. And unfair. I've written tons of uncreative garbage/muck/nasty-trash-of-doom-and-despair. But there were also some really good ones that made me want to hunt them down and give them a hug for being FANTASTIC.

You are as fantastic as a blue chair.

So, anyway. I just love making fun of people. I make fun of everyone, so I don't really feel bad about it, because I also am nice to pretty much everyone. (Except to annoying customers who want to return something that they bought three years ago that is trashed beyond recognition except for recognizing that we NEVER SOLD IT LADY! but customers don't count.) In light of this making-fun-of sarcastic attitude I wanted to make a journal entry just to exaggerate. It came out differently than I expected, but ah well. It was super fun to do.

Dearest Diary,

You hold all of my hopes and dreams within your beautiful brittle pages. Sometimes, I think I shall not exist without you. Oh diary, the Cutest-Boy-In-the-Whole-World-That-Ever-Existed looked in my general direction today. Oh the ecstasies! I nearly catapulted myself over the kingdom wall this morning.

But then, just when I was feeling as glorious as the morning dew on the petals of the prettiest-flower-on-the-castle-grounds Kivellabellawella, the prettiest-girl-on-the-castle-grounds, went over to the Cutest-Boy-In-the-Whole-World-That-Ever-Existed and 'accidentally' dropped a bucket on her head, just so she could get his attention, and so that the Cutest-Boy-In-the-Whole-World-That-Ever-Existed could take notice of her and not me. I know Kivellabellawella is my best-friend-in-the-whole-kingdom, but really, why is she thin, and pretty, and blonde, and incredibly unintelligent? Cute boys always love girls just like that.
So now I must decide to hate life and be all angsty. Angst, angst, angst. I hate my life! I hate being the privileged daughter of the most-well-loved-and-respected-king-in-fifteen-kingdoms-and-two-continents. I hate the fact that I have a wonderful friend who is thin and attractive. And you know what else? My maid Eloie-the-rude-and-annoying asked me if I was pregnant. Just because I ate too much boar last night. No I'm not fat! Ahhhh.... I shall wail my eye out!! If only I could grow out a terribly-inconvenient-and-fake-beard and my life would be complete.

No one but you understands, dearest-diary-whom-I-love-and-adore-and-who-makes-life-worth-living-in-this-medieval-castle-of-suckiness.

Now I shall go find a bucket to douse my head with so that the Cutest-Boy-In-the-Whole-World-That-Ever-Existed will take notice of me and not my super-cute-best-friend-who-always-gets-everything-in-life-because-her-father-is-a-duke.

Love and kisses,

Yes. Now you all can leave 'Yur an IDIUT' comments on my wall. But I sure enjoyed myself and my little romp into this blog-o-sphere.

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